Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Had Something Really Important To Say But I Cannot Remember What It Was So I'm Going To Talk About Something Else and Hope I Remember

I'm pretty sure I'm about to go into heart failure. I'm really working myself up over nothing. It's ridiculous.

I had something that I wanted to blog about but I can't remember what it was. I should really learn to write this shit down.

I think this is my shortest blog ever.

p.s. 1 Week Until I See NIGHTWISH!!!! OMG!!!! Fangirly mode: GO!

p.p.s. 2 Days of Finals and 5 Days Until I'm Home!!!

p.p.p.s. Soon-to-be-Dr. Statistics is the coolest guy ever.

p.p.p.p.s. 16 Days Until I See The Greatest And Coolest Choir Ever!!!


I'm an idiot. A big, big idiot.

I remember what I wanted to say.

I wanted to say that I love it when people read my blog (I mean, why else would I have a blog if I didn't want people to read it). I hate it when people come up to me and say "Oh, I read your blog! I ____ it!" (fill in blank with love, hate, or w/e). It bothers me because I want to know that people read it, but I don't want people to tell me in person that they read it. Or even on facebook. Comment on here all you want, just don't bring it into my real life.

You want to know why? I'll tell you why.

I'm an idiot and I'll say things that I don't mean or that I'm to chicken shit to say to your face and I'd rather pretend that you have never read it. So when you tell me that you've read it, I know you know what I said about you and then I have a mini heartattack over it and I spend my time freaking out over whether you hate me, love me, think I'm freak or a bitch or whatever.

Obviously, I'm just talking about people I go to school with. I know my family thinks this blog is hilarious. But I'm talking about the people I say stupid shit about (douped? I was never douped. I used the wrong word. There was no douping involved. Promises were never made and nothing was ever said. it happened and we moved on. End of story. No douping) and people I talk shit about (like all of those bears. Some are nice, some are major douchebags) and people I used to be friends with (like Former Best Friend and The One Who Hates Me And I Don't Know Why). These are the people I don't want to confront about my blog.

And that's why I have been having a mini heart attack all day. OVER NOTHING. It was nothing. Well, not nothing, but it was nothing to freak out over. I just saw a few words and I didn't read the rest and I freaked out.

I know that makes no sense to you, but trust me, it was cause for concern for a whole 5 words and then the rest was fine. No reason to freak out.

But if I didn't freak out, then I wouldn't be me.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Moving In

Well, here I am. Blogspot. Better than livejournal? yes, I guess so. We'll see how it works for me.

So, what does Within Demise mean? Well, basically, it means that I am close to my demise, as we all are. We are always close to death or falling/failing. With my college graduation growing nearer and nearer (1 year and a month) its possible I may fall to my demise upon graduation.

I'm a pessamist, in case you didn't know.

Instead of working on my pile of enviro science homework, I made this new blog. What can I say, I procrastinate easily. I need to shower and then I'll start working on my hw. At least, until I go see JW and Piano Man's recitals and then there's Bud movie night afterwards. Woot, excited, I guess. IDK, I may have trouble with those girls, but they're my girls and I do love them. Despite all the shit that's gone down, I'd jump in front of a bullet for all of the girls except Ms. I'll Flirt With Your Man. I really do not like her. But i doubt she'll be there tonight, so no problem!

I've started cleaning things up in my room. I go home on Thursday for Easter break, so I'm going to try and take the majority of this crap home. I won't need most of it for the last few weeks, so I'm just going to go ahead and take a lot home so when the semester's over, we won't have as much in the car. It'll make things easier for my mom and I.

I'm really excited, but really nervous about the coming weeks. The tea party is the wednesday after we get back from break and I still don't know what all to plan for it. The friday after the tea party, I'm leaving with my class for the Model UN conference in San Francisco. The week after we get back from San Fran, the sem ends and finals start. I have a fucking final every single day, which is how it always ends up for me. And they're making us take finals on a saturday! What kind of crap is that? Luckily, my final that day (if I even have one for that class, I'm still not sure) is at 6 pm, so I can still sleep in that morning.

I just have to suffer through four more days and I get to go home and sorta relax. I've got to make sure we get everything for the tea party and that I get my presentation for human rights done. Too much left to do. I also have to start working on my history paper, which is due april 29th, I think. I also have to re-write my human rights paper and somehow, I've got to work on my advanced research paper with my partner who never talks to me. I hate school.

I've also got to find that freaking letter for the school so they can write a letter to the military so I can get my ID next week. I can't wait till I get paid next friday. I get two paychecks in one (or at least I better otherwise the school is going to find out just how much of a bitch I can be), so i'll get plenty of money for san fran.

I hate this school.

and btw, the pictures at the top of the page are of Sharon den Adel, the lead singer of Within Temptation and the lyrics are from their song 'Pale' which is on their CD The Silent Force.

p.s. 32 days until I see Nightwish!!!