Within Demise

Scarves

2012-01-09T14:01:00.002-05:00

I'm not a big scarf person. I have 2 that I wear. Although now I have a new one I got for Christmas, so I suppose now I have 3 to wear. I always want to buy new ones, but I never do.

I love some of these colors. And they're a good price, no? $10-11 seems good to me (and I'm cheap, haha).

This one seems good for a fun night on the town. The metallic mesh is really fun.

I love the skulls! I don't love the price, but we sometimes have to make financial sacrifices for fashion, lol.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T13:07:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year! I hope you all had a fun and safe NYE! Always remember, if you're going to drink, call a cab, call AAA, call someone!

I watched the Detroit Red Wings v. St. Louis Blues game for my NYE. It's become a yearly tradition for those teams to play each other on NYE, so I always enjoy watching it. This year, Detroit won 3-0! A well deserved shutout for Jimmy Howard!!

Today is football day in my house. We're fans of the Cincinnati Bengals and the Detroit Lions (I like to watch the Packers, and my mom likes to keep up with the Broncos and Raiders) so we'll be pretty busy keeping up with the games at 4:15 today! We're only getting the Bengals game though, so that sucks.

Have a good day everyone!

My new layout

2011-12-25T15:54:00.002-05:00

Also, I should mention my new layout. I am a huge fan of the new Storm album, Rebel Against Yourself. The lyrics are from the song Before Dawn. I love this band and I wish they would come to the US!

http://www.thestorm.dk
http://www.myspace.com/thestormdk

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T15:51:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you had/are having a lovely Christmas!

My family is in some financial straights right now, so we didn't have many presents but I absolutely love what I got. Plus I did get some money, so tomorrow my mom and I are going out and later this week my family and I are going shopping and we're going to go out to eat. So that should be fun. I'm still looking for a pair of boots that I can afford that I can wear to concerts. Hopefully I can find something!

Stay safe over the holidays!

Top 10 Female Fronted Metal Songs

2011-12-21T15:12:00.002-05:00

#10 Djerv- Madman

#9 ReVamp- Here's My Hell

#8 Nightwish- Escapist

#7 Tarja- I Walk Alone

#6 The Agonist- Thank You, Pain

#5 After Forever- Energize Me

#4 Leaves' Eyes- Melusine

#3 Nightwish- Ghost Love Score

#2 Epica- Consign To Oblivion

#1 Tarja- I Feel Immortal

This one isn't available to download on amazon.com in the u.s.

My Top 5 Albums of 2011

2011-12-21T15:05:00.003-05:00

#5 Nightwish- Imaginaerum

#4 Within Temptation- The Unforgiving

#3 Leaves' Eyes- Meredead

#2 The Storm- Rebel Against Yourself

Sadly, this isn't available on amazon.com and I haven't been able to find a place to buy it online. But check out the songs My Crown, Lost in the Fire, Before Dawn, and The Promise on you tube. I love this album.

#1 Rhapsody of Fire- From Chaos to Eternity

Cute boots to look for

2011-12-20T14:44:00.005-05:00

I'm a boot kind of person, but sadly I only own three pairs of boots. If I ever get a job, it's something I will rectify. For now, I can only stare and wish.

I'm in a mood for boots that go up over my calf, and at least to my knee, with little to no heel:

Steve Madden makes some great boots, though the prices are a little eh. But if you search sites hard enough, you're guaranteed to find the right boot and the right price. I love amazon, though I know a lot of people don't. But it works for me. Just make sure when you're buying things, that there is a return/refund option available. You don't want to buy a pair of shoes, have it end up being the wrong size, and not be able to return them!

I'm trying to find new boots to wear to the concerts I go to. I hate always wearing the same pair. But with no cash coming in, it's kind of a moot point. If I ever get the money, I'd love to buy this pair. They've got no heel, which is great for standing for 4 or more hours, and they're cute:

Btw, if you're into steampunk, Clockwork Couture is a great store to check out!

Please buy my shoes

2011-12-20T14:34:00.005-05:00

Ok, so I am still trying, unsuccessfully, to find a job. Apparently I'm both too qualified and not qualified enough to work at McDonalds? Seriously, what is my life?

So, I've got some shoes on ebay that I'd like to get rid of. I don't wear them and I'd rather sell them off to people who would wear them.

These are White House Black Market Cleo flats. I've owned them for a few years, but I've worn them maybe 4 or 5 times. They're a size 6.5 Women's. The auction is starting at $30 and will end Dec 27th. If you don't want to wait, you can buy them outright for $50.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270877916560

These are Guess women's Gold and Black heels. They're a size 7 women's and have a high heel. I only wore them once, for a dance. The auction is starting at $20 and will end Dec 27th. If you don't want to wait, you can buy them for $40.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270877916998

It would really help me out if I could sell these shoes! I've got to start paying back what I owe to the school so I can get in for the fall semester.

I know, I know

2011-12-20T14:23:00.003-05:00

I need to be better about updating. I'm done with school, so hopefully I can keep up with this better.

So, I finally bought myself a leather jacket! Thank you Forever 21!

This is the jacket, as advertised. If I had the money, I would definitely get a second one in this blue color.

This is my crappy webcam picture of me in my jacket. I went with black, since it should go with more things. It's really comfortable to wear, even though I went with a small instead of a medium. It's a little snug, so if I ever get the money to get a second one, I'll get it in a Medium.

I got it for just $24.80, no shipping, since Forever 21 was doing free shipping for all purchases that week. I just had to pay tax, so it came out to $26.41. Totally affordable. It took about a week to get here.

I would definitely recommend this jacket. There are a lot of stores selling this kind of jacket, but if you're on a budget, Forever 21 has the most affordable one. Plus they're doing all types of sales and things for the holidays, so check out the website!

So many things I want!

2011-08-05T19:48:00.004-04:00

White House Black Market has some great new stuff in:

And Mod Cloth has some great stuff too:

Hopefully I get a job soon so I can buy some of this stuff!

What I've Found on Tumblr, Part 1

2011-07-13T21:16:00.006-04:00

I have a tumblr: http://forhelvede.tumblr.com and I follow a FYSteampunk page and a page called All About Shoes. Recently, I've developed a love for Steampunk clothing. I wish I could pull it off, but I don't have the confidence. But I saw this coat and fell in love:

Seriously, is this not an amazing coat? I love it.

And I've seen so many shoes on tumblr that I love and I'm not sure of where I saw all of these, but I know I originally saw them on tumblr:

I want them all!

more fashion stuff

2011-07-13T20:59:00.003-04:00

I love mod cloth, it's my new favorite online store.

How cute is this dress?

And somebody NEEDS to buy me this!

It is simply gorgeous! Ugh, I would wear the fuck out of that coat. So gorgeous.

And these shoes are great

I need to find new boots for concerts. If only I had the money to actually buy boots, lol.

I'm back

2011-07-13T20:48:00.005-04:00

Well, I'm finally back. I've had some computer trouble, so it looks like I'll have to borrow money from my brother so I can get a new labtop. lame. I already owe him money.

I'm going back to school next month to get a second degree. Funny shit actually. I'll have a degree in poli sci with a minor in history and a degree in history! lol to even it up I should get a minor in poli sci with my history degree. haha.

Next month I'm going to spend a few days visiting my BFF. Then my concert BF is coming to visit so he can go to Tennis and KI. And then school stars. Then in September, concert BF and I will be meeting up to see Kamelot! I can't wait! Simone Simons from Epica will be with Kamelot on tour! Alestorm, The Agonist and Blackguard are opening! YEAH!

Right now I'd like to show you the outfit I want most.

It's from White House Black Market, my favorite store. The picture in the catalog was 100x better. But I love this pairing of the gold shirt with the black shorts.

I would pair it with either of these shoes (both also from WHBM)

I'm so seriously tired of not having a job. It's not even the money (although that would be so nice) but its having nothing to do and feeling like I'm worthless. I can only eat so many funyuns in a day y'all!

Getting Caught Up

2010-09-25T12:17:00.006-04:00

Ok, so...where have I been?

Let's see, on August 22nd, Marine Chick (my sister), and I went to see Rush in St. Louis. It was AWESOME. LIKE HELLO. IT'S RUSH. OF COURSE IT WAS AWESOME. I still can't get over it. Rush was pure amazing. Being able to see these guys I admire was just fantastic.

Geddy Lee <3

I had a nice little weekend with my sister and her family. Sadly, later that week, a friend out in St. Louis died of a heart attack. It's still quite shocking to realize next time I go to St. Louis, I won't see him. I feel so bad for my nephew, who really liked the guy. These are the shocking reminders that life can be short. You never know when it will be your time. Live your life with vigor and love. Don't hold back.

My Aunt was so kind to sign me up for a membership at Ballys. I still haven't gone in to work out. I know, I know. I just have a real aversion to working out in front of people. It tests my patience and it kills my self-esteem. But starting next week, I will be going twice a week to start (in addition to riding my bike at home and other workouts at home) and as I get more comfortable, I will go three times a week.

So, next up was Blackguard and Leaves Eyes in Cleveland. Orginally, it was Blackguard, Leaves Eyes, and Kamelot. And I wasn't going to go because I didn't want to spend that much money and the closest show was Cleveland, blah blah blah. But then the Kamelot singer got sick and Kamelot cancelled the tour. So I was going to go to Detroit to see Blackguard and Leaves Eyes. But then they announced they were still going to do the Cleveland show, so I went up to Kent to stay with my bff and then only had to drive half an hour to Cleveland.

I met up with a couple of friends, one whom I had met, one whom I only knew online. So this was very cool to spend some time with them. I'm a HUGE Blackguard fan so seeing the guys walk around outside was really excited, though all I could do was smile like a dork, haha. It ended up that only about 30 or so people showed up. Mike, Eric and I were front row.

Blackguard was AMAZING. FANTASTIC. PERFECTION. AWESOME. I had an amazing time during their set. I knew all of the songs, so I was really excited and screaming and the guys seemed to love it. Especially during their last song, This Round's On Me. I was completely singing along and Paul, the singer, LOVED it. He was smiling ear to ear and he kept singing right in front of me. And near the end of the song he grabbed my hand and kissed it. Needless to say, I was quite happy at their reception of me.

I kind of talked to him inbetween the sets. I told him they put on a great show and he thanked me for coming and singing along. Their set list was: Allegiance, In Time, The Sword, Cinder, Scarlet To Snow, Farewell, and This Round's On Me. The Sword is my favorite Blackguard song, and Scarlet To Snow and This Round's On Me are also my favorites, so it was really nice to be able to hear those three songs. Of course, I also love Allegiance, In Time, Cinder, and Farewell! So basically, Blackguard plays an awesome set!

So then Leaves Eyes came on and OH MY GOD. Liv Kristine is simply gorgeous. She is stunning. Alex was awesome. Very fun and very hilarious. Leaves Eyes is amazing to see live! Go if you have the chance! During one of the last songs, I forget which, Liv reached for my hand. SHE TOUCHED ME. YES! She was standing in front of me for basically the whole show, so it was really nice. Their set list was: Intro, Njord, My Destiny, Emerald Island, Farewell Proud Men, Take The Devil In Me, Solemn Sea, Leaves Eyes Rick Rolled by Blackguard, Northbound, Ragnarok, Elegy, Froya's Theme & Outro. It was a great nice! Blackguard rick rolling Leaves Eyes was hilarious! Great fun!

After the show, I went to buy a Blackguard shirt and as I was waiting for Terry, one of the guitarists, to find the shirt I wanted, Paul reached out his hand and was saying thank you, and we started talking. It was very cool for me to be approached by someone in the band. Paul was really nice and he kept thanking me, shaking my hand. He hugged me at one point. We talked about the show, we talked about touring, we talked about Mutiny Within (And he and Terry gave me such depressing news!), and we talked about hockey, which was funny. I got Paul and Terry to sign my album, then I got a picture with Paul (and I'm such an idiot, I forgot to get a picture with Terry!), which was such a cute picture, I think. He really was just so nice. He also convinced me to see them on tour with Nevermore, which I will!

Paul and I

I also met Justine, Blackguard's drummer and Etienne, Blackguard's bassist. Kim, the other guitarist had disappeared.

And I also met Alex and Liv from Leaves Eyes. Alex was hilarious and Liv was so sweet! I adore her.

Liv and I

All in all, it was an amazing night! I can't wait to see Blackguard with Nevermore, Warbringer and Hatesphere! I'm a bit nervous about going to a show like that by myself, but I think I'll be fine.

So now I'm just trying to figure out how November is going to go. I have to go up to my Alma Mater to talk about applying to the Secret Service, so that should be fun, lol. I think I'll also go up to Detroit to see family while I'm up that way.

And that's my life for the past month.

So sometime in October, I'll be seeing Blackguard again. In November, I'll be up in Detroit and Tiffin, and then in late November, I'll be seeing Blackguard, Scar Symmetry & Epica in Louisville, which I am REALLY looking forward to!

Do Fun Stuff!

2010-08-30T10:46:00.003-04:00

Hey all, I am here today to help out Ryan and Cole from Pacing The Panic Room.

Please take a minute out of your day to learn something about SMS!

Sorry, your browser does not support iframes.

Oh Hello

2010-08-20T20:27:00.004-04:00

I've been gone for so long. I will try and update better.

On the 18th, I saw Dommin and Volbeat in Flint. OMG AMAZING. Like seriously, amazing. I totally and completely recommend both bands. I haven't stopped listening to Dommin's CD 'Love Is Gone' since I bought it. Soooo good.

I got to meet Volbeat after the concert, which was AWESOME. I got pictures with them and they signed my Guitar Gangsters & Cadillac Blood album. They're all sooooo nice!

So my new theme for now is Dommin. My favorite song from their album is I Still Lost, which are the lyrics up top.

Tomorrow morning I'm driving to St. Louis to see my sister. We're going to see Rush on Sunday!! SO EXCITED. Then I'm coming back home on monday. Hopefully I hear from the secret service soon! I'm starting to get worried!

Take care!

hells bells bitches

2010-02-26T00:01:00.004-05:00

My last couple posts have been about death. I'm sorry I'm such a negative nancy.

NO ITS NOT GOING TO GET ANY BETTER. Not today internets, not today.

I think I deserve this opportunity to be a negative fucking nancy. I mean, it's not like I complain at all to anyone around me. I'm a fucking ray of fucking sunshine ya'll. I never complain.

But I like to think I can be frank with you internets. Let's be serious now, bbs.

First of all, school sucks and I want OUT. I feel like I'm trapped here and nothing I do will free me. I hate my classes. I dislike my professors. I DESPISE THE PEOPLE AROUND ME. I fucking hate it here. I thought these were supposed to be the best 4 years of my life? Or was that high school? Either way, NO.

Second of all, families suck big time. Funny enough, I have no problems with my parents. Usually its my parents who irritate me, not anymore internets. Oh no. Now its every other person in my family, even the kids (Oh I know, I'm just a huge bitch right now), that pisses me off. I'd rather stay curled up next to my mother than go visit family. Part of that has to do with the fact I'm beyond stressed due to school and part of it is cause I'm 100% with people telling me how to live my life and what to do. LIVE YOUR OWN DAMN LIFE GRANDMA, geez. I love my family, I really do, but I just don't want to deal with it right now. I can't. Not right now.

Third of all, the olympics are screwing me up. I go to bed in tears every night because of someone's story, or because CANADA SCREWED US OUT OF A FREAKING GOLD MEDAL (stupid women's hockey team), or because Sweden can't just step the fuck up and OWN THAT SHIT. I will severely miss the Olympics when they're over, but at the same time, I'll be glad they're gone because then I won't be crying every hour. I swear, if I keep crying everyday I'll run out of tears. Then how I am going to cry the night I'm elected President? HMMM INTERNETS? TELL ME HOW?!?!

I'm just really not fond of life right now. Spring break starts tomorrow, but unfortunately I'll be under a pile of books and papers, not really able to have much fun. Not that I can BECAUSE WE HAVE NO MONEY. Eat me, Government and School. Just...freaking...bite me.

I'd like to envision that my posts may be happy one day soon, but really...how likely is that? JUST ABOUT AS LIKELY AS SWEDEN OWNING THAT SHIT.

I will never forgive you for the monstrosity of those losses Sweden. NEVER.

And yes, I fucking love CAPS LOCK.

No judgements, please. Just read and walk away.

Congrats to Joannie Rochette on her Bronze. R.I.P. to her Momma.

In a perfect world, this man would be my husband. But sadly, no perfect world. Oh Apolo Anton Ohno, I love your smile so much :) Never stop smiling!

Guess I should take my own advice, hmm?

I wouldn't be a member of my family if I smiled. NOT IN OUR GENES. Ya'll don't even know...

(I hope my sarcasm is apparent at the appropriate moments in this post. If not...sorry you have no soul)

Oh hello there!

2010-02-14T14:34:00.004-05:00

I do plan on updating this soon. I've gotten pretty busy and life basically sucks. But I'm trying.

Soon, internets, soon.

But I do want to say this:

R.I.P. Captain Phil Harris 1956-2010

You were an amazing man, captain, father, human. I'm going to miss watching you on Deadliest Catch and seeing this new season is going to be very difficult for me. You were one of my favorite captains on the show. I'm so sad I never got the chance to meet you in person to tell you how you and the other captains have inspired me. Please watch over all of us from your vantage point in heaven. You will be missed. R.I.P. Capn.

R.I.P.

2010-01-17T22:17:00.003-05:00

My nana, my mom's mom, passed away on Friday. She had been sick for a while, so...she was 93, almost 94.

I'm still out on how I really feel. She was never a wonderful nana to us. That side of the family is all nutso, it makes me glad I'm not actually blood related to them (My mom was adopted).

The funeral is wednesday and the burial is thursday.

I have a lot of school work to get done before I go back on sunday.

In graphic news, I made some new avatars.

#1 is lyrics from The Storm's song "Wall of Shame" from their album 'Black Luck'.
#2 is lyrics from The Storm's song "B.S.E." from their album 'Black Luck'.

Got super Bored. Should be Packing. Oh Well.

2009-12-26T02:17:00.010-05:00

So I got super bored while watching Repo, not that repo was boring, no, just that I had already worked out and I was done painting my nails. So, I made some new avatars.

Metallica:

#1 and #2 are from the song "Frantic" from their album 'St. Anger'.
#3 is from the song "St. Anger" from their album 'St. Anger'
#4 is from the song "The Unnamed Feeling" from their album 'St. Anger'
#5 is from the song "All Within My Hands" from their album 'St. Anger'

Epica:

#1 is from the song "Design Your Universe" from their album "Design Your Universe"

The Storm:

#1 and #2 are from the song "B.S.E." from their album "Black Luck"
#3 and #4 are from the song "Dominoes" from their album "Black Luck"
#5 is from the song "Honesty" from their album "Black Luck"
#6 is from the song "Are Your Shoes Too Tight?" from their album "Black Luck"
#7 is from the song "Black Luck" from their album "Black Luck"
#8 is from the song "Pass For A Lonely Person" from their album "Black Luck"
#9 and #10 are from the song "Drops in the Ocean" from their album "Where The Storm Meets the Ground"
#11 is Pernille Rosendahl, the singer for The Storm.

Volbeat:

#1 is from the song "Rebel Monster" from their album 'The Strength/The Sound/The Songs'
#2 is from the song "Pool of Booze" from their album 'The Strength/The Sound/The Songs'
#3 is from the song "Soulweeper" from their album 'The Strength/The Sound/The Songs'
#4 is from the song "Danny & Lucy" from their album 'The Strength/The Sound/The Songs'

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T00:56:00.004-05:00

God Jule to all!!

I have been bored, so I've been making some more Growing Up Cullen stuff.

Avatars:

Banner (I use it on the Evthreads)

I'll probably make more later, after all the christmas stuff in the morning. I should probably get to bed!

Yes I am doing that "Emo" bullshit, I can feel if I want to!!

2009-12-24T03:04:00.002-05:00

I'm all about the Growing Up Cullen stuff. GUC is a funny little thing that two girls came up with, which you can read here: http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/tag/creative:+growing+up+cullen

It's the funniest shit I've read in a long time. I think they get all of the characters spot on. Stephanie Meyer (or however you spell her freaking name) should read it and learn a thing or two.

Today is Christmas Eve. So, Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all. I'm actually quite...sad. Usually I find christmas to be a very great holiday. But this year, all I can think about is how badly I've messed up in school. I failed a class. I'm too chicken shit to check to see if I failed the other class I was worried about. I probably did. Why? BECAUSE MY LIFE SUCKS. When something goes wrong, a million things go wrong at once. Isn't that one of Newton's laws? It should be. It seems to be how life goes. For me, at least.

I just want to get into the Army and get away from this stupid school.

I got my school ring earlier than I thought I would. I also got my senior pictures earlier than I thought I would. I'll post both next week. I'm still trying to find my cord to hook my camera up to my computer.

Well, I'm finally off to bed. Good night!

Oh Really?

2009-12-02T21:05:00.006-05:00

You know, I'm really pissed off with how my sister's in-laws are treating her and Pingo. Seriously? Fine, you want to not like Marine chick, ok, I can get that, but to turn your back on your grandchild? Fuck that. I swear, the in-laws better hope they never run into me cause I'll let them know how it goes. You may not like someone, but you sure as hell should respect, especially when they're family. Cause NEWSFLASH, Marine Chick and her dude aren't divorced, she's still his wife, she's still (and always will be) the mother of his son. That alone means she is worthy of decency. But then again, we are talking about a family who has no respect for anyone else. They let people walk all over them and talk shit about people behind their backs.

I've got no respect for any of those people and if I never saw them again it would be a day too soon. I've never liked any of them and I never will. I respect my sisters decision and choices, but crap man, she deserves someone who will actually give a crap about her. Not this douchenugget who shouldn't even be a Marine. He needs to man up and grow a pair before a 95 lb girl kicks his ass.

My sister has stuck up for me my whole life, I'm more than willing to return the favor.

And now in happy news, I took a better picture of my hair.

And also, I'm totally in love with Metallica right now and the only reason I'm currently not listening to Metallica is because my Storm CD came in the mail on Monday, so I've been listening to that for two days. It's SIGNED! THEY SIGNED IT! SERIOUSLY? AMAZING!!!! I will no longer complain that it cost me $30. THEY FREAKING SIGNED IT YA'LL!!! I <3 The Storm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. They've seriously moved into my top 5. Black Luck is an awesome CD.

But anyways, Metallica. Right, so Metallica. <3 this band. I <3 Death Magnetic.

Dudes, Papa Het (James Hetfield, singer of Metallica for the sadly uninformed) is my dad's age, 46, and still looks amazing.

I'm throwing this picture in because it makes me smile.

I <3 METALLICA!!!

That was just your life.

New Haircolor

2009-12-01T22:30:00.002-05:00

I got my hair dyed today. It's not as bright as I'd like it, but I do loooooove the color.

I'm Such a Fool

2009-11-23T15:38:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow morning at 10am, I'll be meeting with an Army Recruiter to discuss my options as an Officer in the U.S. Army.

I'm just joining the army so I can still have a Military I.D., get to live on base (and thus have access to cheaper things and no sales tax and cheap movies), wear a uniform, meet hot guys in equally hot uniforms, work on my rifle skills, have my dad salute me while completely ignoring I have to salute my brother (I just won't look at him when he's in uniform), get out of BUTTFUCK OHIO, move to the beautiful south (If I get stuck north, I'll bitch until I get my transfer), get $3000 a month (and that's just for starters), have a chance to travel, and, lastly, have the army pay off my ridiculous school loans.

And, the number one reason of all: To serve my country with honor and valor.

I'm going to be devestated if I don't get in. Which means I'm going to have to change a few things. I'm going to need to start working out more (pull-ups are a bitch), I'm going to need to learn to eat a meal quickly, I need to eat more and better, and I'm going to have to learn not to cry when someone yells at me.

And I'm going to have to start getting up at 6am. YUCK.

I'm going home for Thanksgiving Break tomorrow around noon. I can't wait. Even though I have like 6 papers to write and a bunch of other shit to do. I can't wait until the semester is over.

Oh, I got my hair cut again.

Essentially, what I got cut was the right side of my head, as seen in picture #1, and the back. When the left side grows out more, it'll look better.

And I promise I will update soon about the Metallica concert a few weeks ago. I'll post a couple of my videos so you can cringe at my singing voice.

10 Things I Hate About Michigan

2009-11-10T16:53:00.002-05:00

1. WHO DESIGNS A FREAKING ENTRANCE AND EXIT RAMP TO COLLIDE??
2. Your roads suck. Big time.
3. Nothing good on the radio.
4. Deers.
5. Deers running into cars.
6. Not enough lighting so I can see aforementioned deers.
7. YOUR ROADS ARE HORRIBLE.
8. Your cop cars are too cool.
9. Grand Rapids is a horrible excuse for a city. Do something about it.
10. Did I mention I really don't like your roads?

I will be posting about my wonderful time in Grand Rapids later. Right now, I'm watching my videos from last night and writing a paper about the military. Woo.

Oh yeah!

2009-11-02T13:21:00.002-05:00

Good news all around. I only owe $500 to the school and as soon as I turn in this stupid paper, I should be getting $500. So then I'll be able to sign up for classes.

in one week, Afro and I will be in Grand Rapids to see Volbeat and Metallica! I am beyond estatic! I cannot wait to see Volbeat! Too bad they're only playing 8 songs, but ya'll can bet I'll be screaming my lungs out from row 201! Metallica should be more than amazing, so I've heard.

And then in February, I'll be heading to Cleveland for the first time to meet Epica! I cannot wait to get my hands on their new CD. Their concert should be amazing!

And then in March, I'll be going to St. Louis to see my sister for Spring Break. And While i'm there, hopefully she and I will be going to see Flogging Molly! FM just announced their 2010 tour dates. They'll be in St. Louis on March 10th, which is the near the end of my spring break. Perfect! Since Marine Chick wasn't able to make it to the Volbeat/Metallica show with me, we can go see Flogging Molly together. It'll be 10 times cheaper (only $28) and we'll be much closer to the band! I can't wait to find out who is opening for FM. Hopefully it's someone I know!

So yeah. God is providing. It took a while for the sun to shine, but here it is!

New Layout

2009-10-31T21:51:00.001-04:00

Got bored and made this. The lyrics are from the Within Temptation song "Utopia", which is amazing. The tiara is one of the Spanish Royal Tiaras, if I remember right.

Enjoy!

NaNoWriMo

2009-10-31T15:05:00.002-04:00

As I come closer and closer to my College Graduation, the question of "What Will I Do With My Life?" continually pops up. One thing I have always loved, is writing. I wrote my first book in 6th grade. What a wreck, but yet what a start. So this year, I'm doing something I've never done before. I'm going to participate in NaNoWriMo, which is National Novel Writing Month.

NaNoWriMo is where you spend the month of November writing a book, trying to reach 50,000 words or more. This is great for writers like me who need deadlines in order to get things done. I'm going to be writing about a story I've had bouncing around in my head for the last year or so. The current working title is Upon A December and has to do with the Mayan prediction that the world will end in 2012. And there might be a superhero or 12 in there somewhere. hehe.

I'm so excited to finally be able to write this. So November will be very busy for me!

I've been partially obsessing over Deadliest Catch for the past week. I've made it to Season 4, which I am currently on episode 5 of. My fav boats are the Time Bandit, Northwestern and the Cornelia Marie. I'd love to meet the Captains. They should do CatchCon again. I'd fly wherever just to see that!

NaNo starts at midnight, so I've got a few things to do finish up before the writing begins.

p.s. 9 days until Volbeat and Metallica!!!! My former big Afro is going with me!!

p.p.s. I slept from midnight until 2pm and I'm still freaking tired. BLAH.

What In The World?

2009-10-29T12:32:00.005-04:00

I'd like to take a moment to mourn the loss of Michelle Obama's style. Most of the time, she has amazing style. Not so much anymore.

Why would she look in the mirror and think this is ok?

(Picture from http://justjared.buzznet.com)

That, Ladies and Gentlemen, is not ok. I'm pretty sure my Farmor, who is not the world's most stylish person, would not wear that outfit. Surely, someone who has a stylist, or twenty, would realize this is not a good looking outfit?

And then there's me. This morning I had to take my senior pictures. For some reason, back in September, I scheduled my pictures for 10:30am on a Thursday, when I don't have class until 6pm. I did not get to sleep in this morning. I am now beyond grumpy.

In picture one, you'll notice, maybe, my extremely dirty mirror. I did not realize how dirty my mirror was. It's been noticed and will soon be cleaned.

In picture two, you'll notice, again, the dirty mirror but also my very shaky hands. I hadn't had anything to eat at this point.

I am wearing a White House Black Market Napolionic Collar Topper Coat, White House Black Market Sleeveless Colorblocked Shirt, Old Navy black pants that I'm pretty sure I got at Goodwill cause I haven't been in an Old Navy in years and I only bought khaki pants that last time, and a pair of beautiful black Mossino shoes, that obviously you can't see in the picture. But they're nice shoes!

And now, I'm going to go clean my mirror, write some more for my papers, and continue watching Season 3 of the Deadliest Catch.

p.s. 11 Days Until Volbeat and Metallica!!!!

p.p.s. Follow me on Twitter: Within Demise, Twitter Style

Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-28T16:37:00.001-04:00

My haircolor

2009-10-25T01:23:00.003-04:00

I managed to take a decent picture of my hair that lets you see exactly what my hair color is now.

It's orange and red. The roots are a more orange color while the rest is red. While I do like it, the moral of the story is listen to mutti next time. She told me to stick with the same color I had been using, but noooo I wanted to try a different red. And this is what I got. Not bad, just different.

My Blog Is So Depressing

2009-10-24T17:53:00.002-04:00

I realize my blog has become so depressing lately. It's hard to write something happy when all I want to do is take my p22 out for a spin on the staff here at this ridiculous school. Of course I won't. I refuse to give them the gratification. No. I plan to graduate from college this year. Whether its from this ridiculous school or a somewhat more decent institution is up to them.

My farmor (dad's mother) wants me to ask my family for money for my tuition instead of asking for presents for christmas. First of all, that would be far too late to keep me at this school and second of all, not many in my family, I believe, can afford to send me more than a couple hundred.

And I don't want their money. I shouldn't need their money. I had a full mental breakdown on thursday after I read my grandmother's e-mail. I am so done with all of this. I shouldn't have to ask my aunts and uncles, some of whom have lost their jobs, for money for school. I should have the money. I've had it for the last 3 years, why don't I have it now?

I feel like crap today which means I haven't gotten didly squat done on my 15-20 page paper that's due tomorrow. I'm trying to get rid of my headache so I can write my paper.

Then I have to e-mail my prof to explain to him why I'd rather be crying than be attending his class.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

p.s. 16 days until Volbeat and Metallica!!

New Layout

2009-10-21T01:24:00.001-04:00

Ok, so now we have a new temporary layout. I am absolutely in love, head over heels, with the song "Are Your Shoes Too Tight?" by The Storm. It's soooooo amazing. So, I made a new layout with some of the lyrics (as I hear them) from the song with a picture of the adorable Michael Poulsen from Volbeat.

The Storm's video for Are Your Shoes Too Tight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUhU_nSpmDQ

p.s. 19 days until Volbeat and Metallica!!!

New Hair and a New Coat

2009-10-20T16:07:00.004-04:00

So, I have wonderful parents. My mutti and I went to White House Black Market yesterday and they still didn't have the boots I want, so instead she bought me the white coat.

I love it soooo much. I also dyed my hair again over the weekend. It came out more orange than red, although you can't really tell in the pictures.

Now I just need a new hair cut.

Will Life Please Get Better?

2009-10-15T12:33:00.003-04:00

I'm drowning. I'm drowning in phlem. I'm drowning in school work. I'm drowning in promises, committments, life. Every morning I lay in bed and I just don't want to get up. It's to the point where I m late on some assignments. I just don't care. There's this voice in the back of my head that's screaming "You need to do this stuff!" but I ignore it. Why? Because I don't care. I don't care about a degree. I don't care about getting a job. I don't care about class. Why should I when it seems like everytime I take a step forward, I get thrown about 20 feet back?

I can't pay for school. I can't finish classes. I can't understand what I'm studying. I'm just floating through, praying I might make it through. But it doesn't matter. None of this does. Not when bad people who do nothing but bad, get to the highest peaks while those of us who play by the rules lay at the bottom.

I want to run away from this school. I hate this school. At this point, I just like a few people I attend school with. That's it. I even feel hated by some students here, simply because I'm not afraid to say I'm a Republican. I don't like the classes. I don't like the professors. I just want out. And yes, technically, I should be leaving in May. But guess what, I need a class. A class that is only offered in the fall. I didn't find out I needed the class until it was too late to add the class this sem. Oh and I already had a class at that time. The chances that the professor will let me take it as an independent study next semester is slim to none. He does't like me. I don't like him. I've not proven to him I deserve it.

But I refuse to have to come back in the fall for one stupid class. So you know what that means? That means I have to go above the professor, who happens to be the chair of the poli sci department. That means I am jeopardizing a lot. I don't even know if anyone above him will let me take the class an independent study. They'll probably just tell me they're sorry, but I have to come back in the fall. WHICH IS THE STUPIDEST THING EVER!! WHY SHOULD I COME BACK FOR ONE STUPID CLASS? I can't come part time because I don't live in this town. I live 3 1/2 hours away. Which means I'd have to go full time. that's 4 classes! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COSTS AT THIS SCHOOL? I don't have that money and my options for loans is nill!

I really can't do this anymore. After this weekend, which is fall break, if things have not changed, I'm going to have to e-mail my advisor and the head of the department and let them know what's going on. I'm having a breakdown. And it's only getting worse.

I really just don't like life right now at all.

Completely Disenfranchised with Life

2009-10-10T14:20:00.008-04:00

I hate life. I hate school. I hate people.

I just want to watch CSI, eat food, drink soda or tea, and not have any responsibilities. Oh, and I don't want people to assume that I would be honky dory if Bush had won the Nobel Peace Prize. I liked the guy, but he didn't do much to deserve it. So, if you would kindly shut your fucking mouth and stop assuming I kiss every Republican ass I see, that would be great. kthanxbye.

In other news. Yesterday I bought this shirt:

And this purse:

They're both from White House Black Market aka my favorite store ever. When I get paid next month, I am going to buy these shoes:

Hopefully they will still have them. They're just $50 right now, but I can't spend anymore money until after I pay the first payment for my school ring. I should be getting charged for that in the next few weeks.

My far said I could get these boots:

My mutti and I went to WHBM to get them when I was home last weekend, but they didn't have them in the store. We're going to go back next weekend when I'm home to see if they have them then. If they don't, I'm going to get one of these coats:

I really want the white one, but they didn't have that last weekend either. The boots and the white coat are new, but the other coat isn't. They had the black coat last weekend. If we cant find the boots or the white coat, I'm going to get the black coat. Or something else.

I need pants, shoes, and a coat to go with my new shirt and purse. I love WHBM. I finally got my blackbook card, so I now get 5% off my purchases. This is so going to be my store when I'm president.

Photography Portion of the Class

2009-09-22T00:02:00.007-04:00

We're in the photography portion of my graphic design class, which is my current favorite part. I love taking photos.

One of our projects was we had to take 5 self-portraits.

Picture 1 had to be a soft photo (slightly blurry)

Picture 2 had to be a sharp Black and White Photo.

Picture 3 had to be me looking down at someone. I had a better idea for this but no one would help me :(

Picture 4 had to be me looking up at someone. Again, I had a great idea for this, but no one would help me. all of the pictures I took today didn't look good, but luckily I found this in my collection, so I think it should work.

Picture 5 he told us to be creative as we want to be. So this is what I did, hopefully it works:

I'd like to give you a proper update on my life. But, well, besides ordering my cap and gown and my class ring, nothing really has happened lately.

Oh, BTW, Repo: The Genetic Opera is AMAZING!!! I <3 Graverobber.

new layout...oh hai Sharon!

2009-09-10T21:59:00.002-04:00

I finally managed to get photoshop working, so I was finally able to do my new layout. I like it. It took me forever to cut the background out of those two pictures of Sharon. I think they're such nice pictures. All credit goes to www.allthememories.com for the pictures. Dankjeweel!

The lyrics are from the song The Truth Beneath the Rose by Within Temptation, of which Sharon sings for.

btw, in case you were wondering, I love Carrie Underwood's cover of I Told You so. I've been listening to it almost nonstop today.

I love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love it.

it's amazing. Youtube it.

NOW!

I Don't Need Your Drama, I've Got Enough Of Mine

2009-09-10T14:13:00.004-04:00

Hey, you there, on the nightwish forum, bite me.

I've been doing forums for like 5 years now. I think my very first forum was either evanescence of the Sims. I have never, ever, been warned or anything. I've always been really nice, helpful, and sometimes, even liked. At least, I think I was liked on the sims forum back in the day. I was a skinner, so I made skins for people and I did requests, so I think I was kind of popular.

But then comes this new nightwish forum and all of a sudden, I am the biggest bitch that only a couple of people seem to like and noone really talks to me and it just sucks. the forum sucks balls now. It used to be pretty cool, but now I can't stand it. The people on, mostly, suck.

Maybe I'm just too cynical at this point in my life to be apart of something like that. I don't trust anything anyone writes and I think most people are just douchebags.

Fuck the nightwish forum. Bye bye.

p.s. yes, I'm attempting to work on my new layout. It's a slow process, bite me.
p.p.s. did I ever mention I got my VIP ticket for Epica in February? I just hope Alice gets hers so we can go together! Epica would not be the same if she is not there to enjoy it with me!

In the middle of a facelift

2009-09-09T20:28:00.001-04:00

As you might see, for the whole 1 of you who actually reads my blog, I am in the middle of redoing my blog. My stupid photoshop is being douchey, so it will take longer than I had originally hoped, but hopefully by tomorrow the changeover will be complete.

Until then, enjoy the awkardness that is the final moments of Where The Storm Meets the Ground. Which, btw, is an amazing song by The Storm. YouTube it.

Oh Hai, Over react much? K, thanx, bye!

2009-09-07T20:15:00.003-04:00

Today is the end of my very enjoyable three day weekend. What did I do for labor day weekend? Well, my wonderful roommate Alice had an extra ticket for Cedar Point and was kind enough to invite me to go with her. Also, her family owns a trailer in Port Clinton and so her parents and her brother would be joining us (or us joining them) for some wonderful labor day weekend festivities.

We drove over on Friday evening and we watched some TV and just settled in. We did visit with some of their friends that night as well. On Saturday, Alice and I went to Cedar Point where I had an amazing time. We rode Millenium Force (where I lost part of my soul and almost got mangled by someone's water bottle that popped out over a hill. BTW, just so you know DON'T TAKE A WATER BOTTLE ON A ROLLERCOAST. K, thanx.), Magnum, Gemini 3 times, Paddlewheel 2 times (Alice used to work there), the Mine Ride, Raptor and Blue Streak. I had a great time, as I said, despite the bruises on my legs, arms, and back. Blue Streak, gemini and the mine ride are all really old, so I bounce around a lot in their wooden coasters. Ouch.

We left about 5 and then headed back to the trailer where we sat around and watched some TV after going on a liquor run for some people. On Sunday, we went to Netty's for lunch, then went to the lighthouse in Marblehead, and then headed back to the trailer park. We had a huge cookout with some of their amazingly funny friends. Alice and I satyed until about 8 or so and then we headed back to her trailer where we watched some more TV and worked on some stuff for NaNoWrMo.

Then this morning we woke up for breakfast at 9 with some friends and had a pretty lazy morning before driving back to campus at noon. All in all, I adore Alice's family because they are hilarious. And, I'm sure she'll tease me for saying so, but Alice's brother is pretty cute. I just thought I'd mention for all who care.

He reminds me of my brother in that he likes to pick on me. haha, he thought it would be funny to start saying shit about the red wings, which got me going. It was comical. He's such a typical brother, haha.

But yeah. I didn't get much homework done, but I had an awesome weekend. I love hanging out with Alice and her family and their friends at Port Clinton. I hope I get a chance to do it again before I graduate.

tonight, I am going to head over to Afro's apartment to hang out with him and Ice and watch some football. Yeah!

The Only Thing Worse That Could Happen Is I Could Have the Swine Flu Or Some Other Deadly Disease

2009-08-27T23:43:00.004-04:00

I'm to the point where dropping out of college is becoming more and more appealing. Sadly, I am not joking about that. Within the next couple weeks, particularly while being at home this weekend, a decision will have to be made. It's becoming more and more clear that the idea of me graduating of May is passing farther and farther away from my reach.

I hate that I'm so close and yet graduation is out of my reach. I should have known that since it seemed like I had everything under control that everything is not under control. So what do I do? I do intend on getting my degree. I won't come this close to it and never get it, but I'm thinking I will drop out and get a job doing something and then go back later, in a year or something, and finish my last year. But honestly, at this point, I want nothing more to do with this ridiculous school. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of adding me to the list of people who have graduated with a degree from their institution.

I don't know what I would do for a job if I drop out. Maybe the military? I don't know anymore. It's weird, but it seems like whenever I'm at school, I have the strong desire to be in the military, but when I go home, I lose that desire. I don't think I want to be an officer, but I think I'd like to be in the military. But then that means no Denmark for Grad school :( But with the money I'd make in the military I could save up and then go there for a vacation one year. IDK.

I just really don't have the desire to be at this ridiculous school anymore.

Today I found out that I've somehow overlooked the fact that I need to take POL 408 to graduate. How is it that while planning my class schedule for the last three years that I've managed to skip that class? HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE? This makes no sense. And, of course, the class is only given in the fall. Oh and it's during my history class. Sure, I could drop my history class and add my POL 408 but I need that history class.

I just don't care anymore. And I don't mean about getting my degree. I want nothing more to get my degree, but I just don't care about this ridiculous school anymore. I don't want to give them anymore money. I don't want to give them my service. I don't want to be here anymore.

So what do I do? I suppose I could transfer...but to where? I just don't know what to do. And I know what my parents will say. They will tell me to tough it out and do what I have to get my degree. I only have 9 months left.

But that's not what I want. I don't want to be here anymore. Everyday for the past five days I've wanted to just bawl my eyes out because nothing is going right. It's like the world has conspired against me. I'm so thoroughly unhappy here. I don't like any of my classes. I am so pissed that this stupid school won't accept my science class and that I have to appeal one of my grades and that I never knew I need POL 408 despite the fact I've been meticulously planning every semester since I was freshman. I hate that I can never get into my dorm because the stupid key system doesn't work and I that don't have a job. I hate that I still have to finish that stupid research methods class and I have to write that stupid issue for Model UN and I have to be president of a club that no one cares about. I just don't care anymore.

I'm done.

I'd Like to Tell You A Story About A Girl Who Had a Mild Panic Attack At School and Murdered Half the Campus...

2009-08-26T16:25:00.003-04:00

But that would be a false story.

I have to perform in my espionage class with 3 other people on Friday. Our class has been split into 8 groups and we each have a different part of the "spy finding a mole" process. Our part is the "Handling" of information. I play the Washington policy-maker who informs the spy of what we need from the mole.

I hate talking in front of groups and performing in front of people.

I know, how can I be a politician if I can't speak in front of people? Well, when I'm talking about something I enjoy, like politics, then its easy for me to speak in front of people.

This is why I never did acting.

Well, espionage should be fun though.

My other classes suck, although I haven't had Capstone yet, but judging by the fact we have 5 books, I'm going to bet it sucks.

I'm still trying to decide if I really want to go to Sonata Arctica or not. Its only $16 for the ticket, but I'm trying not to spend my money so much. Plus I need to buy my VIP ticket for Epica and my $40 Volbeat shirt before the show in November. So much to buy so little money!

Back To School And Pissed Beyond Belief Already. New High Score!

2009-08-24T10:32:00.003-04:00

So today is the first day of classes of the new year. I moved back to this ridiculous school on saturday and have discovered that this school is more fucked up than ever. First of all, we have hardly any shelving in our room. wtf? Oh and my friends room on the 3rd floor gets a bench in the shower, but we don't despite the fact this is supposed to be a handicapped room.

oh, rite, i see what you did thar. AND FUCK YOU.

Then I discover that the school will not accept my Environmental science class as one of my science requirements because when I was a freshman, ENS 101 was a BIO class, thus since I took Bio Lab, ENS 101 does not count. Oh really? I AM NOT TAKING ANOTHER FUCKING SCIENCE CLASS DOUCHEBAGS.

Oh and I still will need 18 credits. So next semester, I have to take 18 credits which is about 6 classes. Did I mention I'll have to pay extra for that 6th class despite the fact the online registry tells us we're allowed 18 credits? Haha, I totally get it. AND ANOTHER FUCK YOU!

And then, ya know, I can't get my fucking computer updated all weekend so this is the first time I've been on the internet since friday. Fucking retarded system.

And then today, I lose my id! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT MY ID. I can't get into my building, I can't eat in the lunchroom or the cafe, and I can't buy my books. WHY GOD, WHY?

I am just beyond pissed and beyond stressed and I am this | | close to crying and then taking a gun to the stupid college hall (just kidding, I'd never kill them. that would be letting them off to easily).

Oh, and did I mention after that for four years of school, it costs over $100,000? And it's not even that great of an education.

Swear to God, after I become famous, I'm telling everyone to stay away from this fucking school. It's not worth the crap you go through in the four years here.

Post Number 50-OMG, Let's Get Some Shoes!

2009-08-18T00:22:00.004-04:00

These are my new shoes. I love them like I have never loved a pair of shoes before. my life is complete!

And this is the new hairstyle I've been working on. It's a pathetic mohawk with a curl at the end that doesn't like to curl. I need to get my hair trimmed and then maybe it'll work a bit better.

My mutti and I are going to Fort Knox tomorrow to see Marine Chick, Curly, and the kids. I'm so happy! I miss my sister so much!!

I sold 3 textbooks on amazon so i made $186!! YES!!! Life is good!!

I think my next design may be slipknot. Or maybe...eh, IDK.

The Show Must Go On: Preparing For Senior Year

2009-08-14T20:24:00.006-04:00

This won't just be any senior year. This will be my final senior year. I did my senior year of high school. Now I must complete my senior year of college. Like high school, this senior year will end in a commencement ceremony where I will walk across a stage and be handed my diploma. But this isn't just any diploma. This is a diploma from a University. This is a diploma that says for the last four years I worked my butt off against diversity and sexism and liberal hate. No, the diploma won't actually say it, but when I accept that diploma with my beautiful name on it, that's part of what I have fought against these past four years. Among other things, such as jackass frat boys who think they're important and bitchy sorority girls who think hazing is fun and brings everyone closer.

In a week from tomorrow I will move back to my loser school to live with my cool roommate Alice who will be kind and deal with my obsession with Volbeat which will become too much to handle in November and then will cool a tiny bit around December, but will explode yet again should they choose to return to the states anytime in 2010 or if I get accepted to Roskilde and I move to Denmark for two years.

In a week from Monday I start classes and work. Let's take a look at the classes I will be taking, shall we? Let's start with remidial fucking Math (because I'm an idiot). Yes, for a semester I shall have learn all the basics of math or whatever the fuck they teach in that horrid excuse for a class. Then I have Art and Espionage (which is taught by a former CIA agent, how cool is that?) because I need a Cor300 class and it's a Cor300 class, and the coolest one, if I do say so myself. And there's Grapic Design, which better involve photography or I will be upset. There's the Origin of the American Republic, which will be my last history class (which means once I pass that, I technically have complete my minor! WOOOO). It will also be my last class with Dr. White Castle, which is sad as he was so very funny. And my last class is Capstone in Political Science, which is my senior level Poli Sci class. It's not my last poli sci class (I still have to take War & Peace in the spring) but it will be the most challenging poli sci class I've had to take in my four years at college. If its not, you can be certain I'll be sticking my tongue out at a certain Canadian professor in defiance.

As well as classes, I will also be working two jobs. I will return to being a secretary in a certain office for a certain Dean (and I'm sure I'll be racking up the paper cuts this year as well). I will also be working as an editor of some sort on the school newspaper. It helps that my roommate Alice is the head of the paper. She's so cool. Ha, it pays to be friends with people in high places. Oh shit man, I'm totally going to make an awesome politican! Look, I'm already using my friends to get me places! (joking...and like all of my so called friends aren't going to use me when I'm President, not that Alice is a so called friend. She's a really good friend of mine, one of my best friends and I'm not actually using her to get the job. SHIT, why am I writing a disclaimer? Fuck you if you don't get my sarcasm and get away from my blog!)

Uh...anyways. I'm also going to start my third year of being President of College Republicans. This year the hardest thing is going to be finding my replacement for when I graduate. There are just no other dedicated republicans on campus. It's so sad. Not just anyone can be President. It takes a lot.

And I am also involved in a new sorority on campus, so that's going to keep me pretty busy. We've got so much to do within the first couple weeks of being on campus, I'm going to be so stressed out, but knowing that I have so many wonderful women working alongside me, I know everything will work out just fine! But like I said, it's going to keep me so busy!

And, ya know, it takes a lot to obsess over Volbeat. That's almost a full time job in and of itself. But, I'm certain, when November comes, I'll make them proud. They'll hear me screaming and she me rocking out, even up in row 201! And I'm also pretty stoked about seeing Metallica too. I wonder if they ever play St. Anger. I like certain parts of the song, just not the whole thing. Oh, they better play One! And Nothing Else Matters. And Master of Puppets. And Enter Sandman, of course. Fade to Black, hopefully. Oh, and Sad But True.

November 9=Best Day Ever!

If I could meet Metallica, that would be great. Major Pain in the Ass was once a huge Metallica fan. It would be cool if I could send him just a picture of me with Lars or James for christmas. Haha, that would be a great gift. God jule MPITA, from Metallica and your dear youngest sister, aka Future President of the U.S.

Vote for Me!

Anyways...For the last oh, IDK, 20 hours or so, I've been listening to a lot of Slipknot. I had been listening to a mix of Volbeat, The Storm, Danzig, The Misfits, Lasgo, Milk Inc, Spinnerette, and Sylver, but I decided Slipknot was what I wanted and now I can't turn them off. I don't mean I don't know how, I mean I've really missed Slipknot (it's been years since I've listened to them) so I'm kind of soaking them up. Dont worry, I'm not ignoring my beloved Volbeat, I throw in some VB every once in a while, but it's mostly Slipknot for now. Good stuff.

New layout coming soon. I'm working on a new design.

Grumpy

2009-07-31T01:15:00.002-04:00

All I have to say is my far is one grumpy motherfucker.

And my farfar is one big douchebag.

I think that's why my far is so grumpy. Does that mean I'm going to be grumpy with my kids and they'll be grumpy with theirs? I don't want this cycle to continue. I don't want to snap at my kids when all they say is "Hi Dad". Oh man, what a crime, your fucking son said hi. Call the fucking cops.

It's the one thing I can't stand about my far. He gets angry and moody so easily. It's like one thing goes wrong and he's pissed off for the rest of the day and takes it out on us. I can't tell you how many times I've been yelled at for the littlest things because he was already pissed off. I hate it. It's pretty much the reason I can't wait to move out and be away from his moodiness. It's gotten worse since he started college. I get it. Maybe I don't get how frustrating it is to have to go to school and have a job (although I kind of do, on a smaller level), but I know how fucking frustrating it is to be in school.

I just wish he'd get his freaking temper under control and not snap at us. I pray to God I do not do that with my kids.

Yeah, I'll say it now, I don't want to be like my parents (mostly). If I could just inherit all the positive things and none of the negative things, that would be great, thanks. Just leave all the drama.

I've had enough drama over the last 21 years to last me a lifetime, thanks. I want my kids to reach 21 and go "Jesus Christ, we had fucking boring lives. My mom is the greatest though. No one rocks harder than her." And then we'll just call it a day.

I don't want to continue the drama like my parents have. I want my kids to be so fucking normal it hurts.

Ya know, except for the whole being the child of the President.

High hopes, ya'll, I got high hopes.

Manic Monday

2009-07-27T17:30:00.002-04:00

I had a dentists appointment this morning. Ugh...I do not like that dental assistant. Seriously, why do you think my gums are bleeding? Maybe it has something to do with the extremely sharp tool you're jamming in there. Bitch.

I have to go back tomorrow to get some cavities filled. Yippee...

In other news, I dyed my hair Red Hot today. It turned out very well, if I do say so myself. I think I'll touch up my roots later this week.

Being as home is as boring as I hoped it would be. Besides having to get up early today and tomorrow, things are good so far.

Next weekend the new outlet mall opens and it has a Hugo Boss store which, with any luck, will become my new favorite store :)

SONATA ARCTICA....SONATA ARCTICA...SONATA FREAKING ARCTICA!!! Tony Kakko Will Be Right In Front Of Me!!!

2009-07-26T16:13:00.003-04:00

Sonata Arctica will be in Louisville on October 17th! I'm so excited and I can't wait to go!

I am in absolute love with Full Moon, it's an amazing song and I demand you listen to it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQghSEl0hHQ&feature=related

Enjoy.

I'M GOING TO SEE SONATA ARCTICA!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Tillykke med fodselsdagen Pingo!!

2009-07-23T17:58:00.003-04:00

Happy 1st birthday to my wonderful nephew Pingo!! Despite all the crap going on with your mor and far, I hope you have a wonderful day!

Today was my last day of class. I'M FREE!! For four weeks, at least.

Tennis starts soon and I won't be there. It kind of sucks. But I'd rather be a lazy bitch for the next four weeks than do something for free that gets me nowhere.

EPICA! EPICA! EPICA! EPICA IN FEBRUARY!!!

2009-07-21T18:29:00.003-04:00

Well, as if my year couldn't get any better! Epica just announced they will be headlining a tour in the U.S. with Blackguard as their opener! Shitastic!! They will be in Cleveland on February 3rd. Either I attend that show or truck my ass down to Atlanta on February 28th since I'll be on Spring Break. I suppose it's possible, as long as CPAC isn't going on, that my parents might let me go to Atlanta. Although I fucking hate the Masquerade and would like to avoid that place like the plague.

Ugh, I'm not looking forward to standing outside in the fucking snow. Ah, fuck Cleveland. This show will be my first time to Cleveland. Fuck, if I can survive Atlanta, I think I'll be golden in Cleveland.

I'm so excited! I'll be ordering my Volbeat/Metallica ticket within the next week or so! Oh, my loves!! I can't wait to see Volbeat again! I hope Rammstein plans a US tour soon!! And Flogging Molly needs to get their asses back here!

I am now addicted to concerts! I wonder if anyone I know will be in Cincy over the next four weeks...hmm...

I'm home in three days!!!

The Nose...Smells...My Stomach...Hurling

2009-07-21T00:12:00.002-04:00

Today I'd like to talk about smells. I have pretty much always been someone with a strong sense of smell. If I don't like the way food smells, I won't usually eat it. I'm very big on smells.

So that brings me to today. For some reason, I was all about smells today. I think it started with the stupid spoiled milk that I had to dump out over the weekend. I smell everything now and when I say everything I mean everything that smells awful. The entire time I sat in class today all I could think about was how bad everything smells.

Because of this, I had a horrible headache, actually I still have a horrible headache, and my stomach has been churning all day. I really feel like I need to hurl a very violent, yet relieving, hurl. Ya know, that hurl that before hand you feel like death has warmed over and afterwards you feel like you're ready to drink some more? Yeah, I need a relieving hurl. I pretty much feel like shit and I would love to lean over the toliet and let it all go. Hey, dude, don't talk to me about overshare, this is my blog, I'll talk about puke if I want to.

Also, it's been way too long since I threw up after a night of drinking. While some may think that's amazing, I think that means I just haven't gone all the way in way too long. I still remember Kermit's epic throw-up that somehow made it behind the toliet and even on the plunger. How does that shit happen? That's like texts from last night epic. It doesn't happen often but when it does, its epic.

Also, I'd like to to mention that Glenn Danzig is God. And somehow he's only 5'4. That's a lot of man to only be stuffed in a 5'4 body. I love that I'm actually taller than him. I'm pretty sure I need to meet him.

Glenn Danzig is the guy you could bring home to mom despite the fact he was the singer of the Misfits. Michael Poulsen is the guy you could bring home to mom despite the fact he's covered in tattoos and sings about women dancing on tables in girdles.

Gotta love rock music.

BTW, if you don't already know them, here are some bands you should check out:

The Misfits [when Danzig was the singer, although I love Dig Up Her Bones], Danzig [especially How the Gods Kill and Mother], Volbeat, and DevilDriver.

IT'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-16T16:40:00.002-04:00

I called my mom after class today to tell her about my fun times trapsing around in Rock Creek and she told me I got a package. I told her to open it, cause she said it was from france and I was all 'WTF, what did I order that came from France?' so she opened it and it was MY MICHAEL POULSEN PIN-UP!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm very happy, as you can see. I can't wait to put it up in my apartment at school in the fall. Sexiness....ooooo

This is the picture, in case you were wondering:

This is the perfect start to my weekend.

Totally Not Interested In Anything At The Moment...Not Even My Beloved Volbeat...Ok, Only Volbeat Can Get My Attention

2009-07-14T18:38:00.003-04:00

We did a genetics lab today in class and pricked our fingers to find out our blood type. Turns out I'm type O which means if I ever need a blood transfusion, they can give me anything. Woot, woot.

I'm so tired and just generally not interested in anything at the moment.

Yeah, except for Volbeat. They seem to be the only thing that can keep my attention at the moment. I need my head cleared!

I totally have the theme song for The Nanny stuck in my head which is weird cause I haven't watched it in a while.

I never said I was sane.

What Happens When I Get Bored

2009-07-10T15:04:00.011-04:00

This is what happens...no, I'm not obssessed. I'm just desperately trying to put off writing my paper because I enjoy being up late at night writing papers and trying to make the deadline.

And yes, I realize some of these suck. I don't care. I am in it simply to procrastinate. Besides, its the thought that counts.

Shit, I might as well just start a fucking Volbeat fansite. If only I had the time!

BREAKING NEWS...ISSUE NUMBER 1 IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!! ISSUE NUMBER TWO SUCKS, BUT I'M TOO EXCITED ABOUT ISSUE NUMBER 1 TO CARE!

2009-07-09T17:23:00.002-04:00

Ok...so...I get back from class, take a short nap, then walk to the pit stop to get some soda. I come back, get on the computer, check out volbeatforum.dk to find out that VOLBEAT'S GOING TO BE IN THE U.S. THIS FALL!!! That's right bitches...Volbeat is opening up for Metallica in several dates in October, November and December. And guess what? THEY'RE GOING TO BE IN GRAND RAPIDS ON NOVEMBER 9TH!!! I'M GOING TO GET TO SEE VOLBEAT AGAIN!!!

Sadly this means I won't be getting my tattoo anytime soon since I now need to save up for Volbeat CDs, shirts and the ticket. But it's totally fracking worth it. Volbeat and Metallica in one night? HELL YES!! FOR HELVEDE!!!

God is totally on my side.

So what's issue number 2, you ask? My farfar (my dad's father) had a heart attack. Apparently he's fine, but this just brings up so many issues in my family seeing as most of my farfar's kids hate him. I, personally, don't like the bastard. I'm glad to hear he's ok, but I doubt this near death experience will change him at all.

And like I said, I'm too freaking excited to care!!!

VOLBEAT!!!!

I'm going to go now...November can't come soon enough!

Maybellene...oh I'm so sorry

2009-06-30T17:43:00.003-04:00

My prof violently ripped apart Maybellene's hips today in class.*

It was not very cool. We had our first bio test today. I think I passed, but jeez, it was ridulous! Now we're talking about cells. I hate biology.

I watched a very good movie last night, its called Nights in Rodanthe. Reiko and I went to see it when it came out in theaters and I cried like a baby. Last night was no different. I started my night off by watching The Ruins, a supposedly scary movie. It was a really good movie, a bit gross, but not as scary as I was expecting. Then I watched Nights in Rodanthe and bawled. And I finished my night by watching Sin City. Very good movie!

Today, I am going to watch Deadliest Catch on Discovery. I love that show. My whole family does. Other than that, I will work on my paper and try to find an article for class on thursday.

My mutti is coming to get me on Thursday. I will be home for fourth of july, which will be nice. Maybe I could secretly get my tattoo this weekend ;) haha, doubt it, but we'll see.

I feel like a nap is a good thing to do, but I am also hungry. Oh yes, I forgot to mention I had steak last nigt :) it was so good! I also had steak two nights ago and I still have one more left to cook! I will eat that tomorrow to go with my muffins and green beans I will also make. Yummy. My mutti says she will give me corn and green beans from our garden when I am home this weekend so next week I will have fresh and delicious corncobs and long fresh, delicious green beans. Yummy!!

*It wasn't actually violently, it just sort of sounded like it. It was violent when he pulled both of her legs back to arch her pelvis up so he could find all of her anatomy parts underneath bigger anatomy parts. Sad times :( Thursday will be my last day with Maybellene. That's when we take our practical to see how much we have learned. I took a picture of Maybellene today on my cell phone, I will post it soon.

Maybellene

2009-06-28T15:32:00.007-04:00

editors note- this is the fourth time I've written this...fucking internet at school sucks!

I started biology last week. I have lecture monday, tuesday, wednesday and thursday from 1-3pm and lab on tuesday and thursday from 10:15am-12:45pm. That means that tuesday and thursday and part of me dies. I have biology for four and a half hours on tuesday and thursday. Can we say OVERKILL? Ridiculous.

We started dissecting pigs on thursday in lab. I have a lille pige (little girl) and the other guy in my class (yes, there are only two of us in the class, woot) has a lille dreng (little boy). I named my spotted lille pige Maybellene. I felt bad when I cut her mouth and body open. To be honest, the worst part of it all was hearing the cracking of the ribs when my prof pulled her chest cavity open. Other than that, I'm do expertly. My prof says I'm really good at this. I think that's a compliment.

I'm all alone...Violent Pat left on Friday. I miss her. I didn't get my tattoo, but I think I'm going to get it in Cincy the week I go back to school. I'm excited, but nervous.

I've got a lot to do this week. Blah, I hate this summer. Not working for me at all. Oh well, at least I'll be graduating next May!

The End

2009-06-22T16:11:00.002-04:00

I now know what its like to watch everything you've worked so hard for fall away in an instance.

I made a mistake and now I'm being punished for it.

I'm so close to seeing everything disappear in an instant.

They're almost insistant on ruining everything because of one mistake.

Now I know why people say life isn't fair.

Now I know why I hate this school.

I've lost all motivation to do pretty much anything.

I'll do Biology and get through that class.

But my senior year, should I go, will be horrible.

And now I don't know if I'll even be accepted to any Grad School.

I understand rules, but there must be someway they can punish me without ruining me.

I've learned my lesson, trust me, but does that mean they have to ruin my chance at ever getting into Grad school?

Apparently.

God help me.

Because no one else can.

There's nothing I can do to fix what I've done.

All I can do is pray and pray that the effect is all God's plan and that everything will work out in the end.

Let's Forever Feed That Rebel Monster...Dance All People I Hold The Gun...FOR HELVEDE!!

2009-06-17T22:54:00.003-04:00

All I have to say is why are all the best bands in Europe? It's not fair...I never get to see them! I got lucky with Nightwish (and as such, Volbeat). But I want more! I walk Milk Inc.Within Temptation.Volbeat (a million times over).Nightwish.Apocalyptica.Magtens Korridorer.Rammstein.The Storm.The Gathering.Delain.Sonata Artica. I wonder if Gob Squad still does shows...

I'm inconsoliable.

And this is half the reason why I am trying to do my Grad school overseas, so I can see all of these bands and more! The other half is because I want to travel through Europe and see all the sights. And I'm hoping to fall in love with a wonderful European man. Someone with a cool last name.

I have one paper left for Pop Culture in America. Tomorrow's our last day of class and the paper is due Friday by 5. I'm going home tomorrow :) Min Farmor is coming to get me and then we're driving down to the Nasty Nati. So I'll be home until Sunday and then it's back to campus for class on Monday. I start bio on monday. Bleh. There's only 2 other people in the class, so it should be significantly boring.

I guess I'll be getting my tattoo within the next week and a half. If not, I won't be getting it until this semester. I told Violent Pat I will only get it if she's there with me, so...yeah. She leaves for France on july 2nd :( What will I do without my roomie?

I'm back on Myspace, although it's annoying me. But Volbeat and Magtens Korridorer are my new myspace friends, so life is good :) hehe. I have no life.

I think I'll go feed that Rebel Monster now and watch a horror movie!

If Sidney Crosby Disappeared Tomorrow...Gary Bettman and the NBC Hockey Commentators Would Fall Over and Die

2009-06-14T22:34:00.003-04:00

Gary Bettman should retire. End of story. He's ruined the NHL. Seriously...how can anyone doubt the horrible shit he's done to the NHL? He's had TWO lockouts since he became commissioner! Seriously...Bettman...walk the fuck away.

The guy sucks on crosby's cock so much, it's ridiculous. I'm suprised Crosby's anything but a limp noodle with all the attention he gets.

And listening to Game 7 on TV was AWFUL. Crosby this, crosby that. CROSBY'S NOT EVEN ON THE ICE YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS. Seriously? How can anyone take the game seriously anymore when the NHL and channel's chant one name over and over? Do you want to know why 90% of the US and Canada hate Cindy Crosby? BECAUSE YOU SHOVE HIM DOWN OUR THROATS. He wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to hear his dumb ass name everytime I watch a game he's not even in! I don't care!! Let's look at then Penguins team, shall we? Who do we have besides the douchebag Cindy Crosby...Malkin, Cooke, Talbot, Staal, and Fleury. There's a few others, but these are names that almost constantly stand out. The Pittsburgh Penguins do not equal Cindy Crosby. There are other just as or more talented players on that team.

And should we even begin to look at the Red Wings? The Red Wings have more talent on their third line than the Penguins do on their entire team. The Red Wings didn't win because they didn't fight for it enough. They should have been all over that shit in game 7 instead they sat back and didn nothing. They didn't deserve to win that game, but they deserved the cup a whole hell of a lot more than Crosby and his stupid teammates.

Malkin deserved to win the cup, Fleury even. But Crosby? FUCK NO. The dick scored one goal in the entire series against the Wings, but he's the one everyone's calling the next great one? PLEASE. I'm pretty sure Gretzky did better than that in his off years. Fuck that. There will be no other Gretzky. Gretzky is in a class of his own. Just like there will be no other Patrick Roy or Mario Lemiuex (although I couldn't tell you any of his achievements) or Goride Howe. These men are legends. Crosby? Crosby's an immature little duck with a big butt and a poor attitude. He seriously needs to shave, he looks like a preteen trying to look like an adult with that pathetic excuse for a beard.

And don't worry about Hossa. He made the right choice. He may not have won the cup this year, but he will next year. He's better than the Penguins. Their attitude sucks and so do the attitudes of their fans. Come and rub their win in my face when they actually deserve it.

Yeah, they won mostly cause they outplayed the Wings. But don't sit there and tell me the bullshit calls and non-calls by the refs didn't help. Bettman...dude...get off your knees, he's barely legal. And Mario? Get a clue. Crosby shouldn't be Captain.

And who cares if he's the youngest captain to hoist the cup? Come talk to me when he has the grace of Steve Yzerman or even the humility of Wayne Gretzky. Lidstrom is 10 times the Captain Crosby could ever hope to be. Lidstrom, Yzerman, Gretzky and all of the other actual great Captains in the NHL were all Class Acts. Crosby is not a Class Act.

And with that said, the new hockey season should start tomorrow because I don't want to wait until September.

GIVE ME MY HOCKEY BACK!!

I suppose I'll placate myself with the Red Wings 50th Anniversary DVD. Bring on those Avalanche, we'll kick their butt. Vernon vs. Roy. There was never a better fight.

This Sucks

2009-06-12T22:18:00.001-04:00

R.I.P. Mighty Red Wings. You have failed all of your fans by playing like complete and utter shit. I hope you guys have learned your lesson.

Oh and NBC...you can suck a bull ball. Get off of Crosby's dick and correctly call a game. Douchebags.

Saturday, I loved You Like Gold...Not Like The Monday, You Passed Like a Ghost

2009-06-07T15:23:00.003-04:00

I'm trying to make a new graphic for up above. Nothing is striking me though...I need inspiration.

Until then...

I'm home for the weekend. Tomorrow my mutti is taking me back to school. I need to write my paper tonight on the Boondsock Saints. Seriously...like...if I could always write my papers on my favorite movies and celebrities, that would make school so much better. I think if I end up teaching, I'm going to try to relate my classes to pop culture. Maybe that way kids will like Politics.

Yeah...I'm still very much into Volbeat. Ya can't stop them!

I've got like 5 grad schools that I will be applying to. Only 2 of them are in the states. The other three are in Europe. WOOHOO!!

I Want To Write Something Happy...But Since I Feel Like Killing A Certain Douchebag, You're Gonna Get A Non-Happy Post

2009-06-01T16:55:00.002-04:00

First of all, you'll be happy to hear that I finished my paper at 6am and thus got 3 and a half hours of sleep before I reluctantly pulled myself out of bed at 9:30. 20 minutes to get ready. Le sigh.

I got an e-mail from my sister. Basically, I've got to commandeer a car so I can go to Indiana and kill a certain douchebag. Sorry Pingo, you'll have to make due without your idiot of a father because I'm going to kill him. Or I could be nice and just maim him...but where's the satisfaction in that?

I won't say, just yet, what happened. I may not like the douchebag, but my sister loves him. So I will hold out hope that maybe things will get better for them. I believe in miracles. I don't know why my sister loves him, but she does. And they have a kid together. The last thing dumbass needs is 2 ex-wives that each have a kid with him.

What a dumbass. He needs to grow up.

It ruined my goddamn afternoon! (I went back to sleep after class and got up at 4...yeah, my roomie's still asleep seeing as she didn't got to bed until 7. We're totally college students.) And all after that lovely, fantastic, wonderful hockey game last night where the Red Wings stuffed the Penguins 3-1...again!

Oh well...I'm here for my sister. If she needs the help, I may go stay with her after I'm done with classes and before fall semester starts. Oooh....then she and I can go to the Budweiser factory and I can drink the nice, fresh bud light! Yeah for being 21!! OPTIONS!!!

Ok, so maybe this post is kind of happy.

Here's A Thought...How About I Write My Paper Instead Of Being On Facebook? Ultimate Procrastination At Its Laziest

2009-06-01T02:02:00.003-04:00

I have class in 8 hours.
I'm still awake.
My paper is due in 8 hours.
I have 13 words...
and that's just the heading and title.
Shit son...
Facebook is the ultimate procrastination tool.
That and reading people's blogs.
And food.
I'm not even joking, I've gained about 5 pounds this weekend.
As evident in my ever expanding tummy.
I gain weight in my stomach.
It's my bodies joke on me.
Make me look pregnant so people look at me weird.
Thanks...thanks a lot body.
My roommate and I have this issue...
It's called staying up until 5 in the morning...
and then not waking up until noon (for me) or 4 (for her).
I can't help it.
I'm just not tired.
I'm hungry.
I'm cold.
But not tired.
Shit son.

I had the best hair style today...check it

For The Love Of All That Is Good And Mighty, Screw Off!

2009-05-30T17:25:00.004-04:00

There's this guy...he's a jerk and I don't like him. He dates a sweetheart friend of mine, which is the only reason I even bother talking to him.

He freaking ruined my night last night. It was my last few hours of my birthday and he starts a stupid argument about politics and Obama and then spends the rest of the night demanding to know why I don't like him and blah blah blah.

Just shut up and let me have my night.

He was also pissy because I didn't want to get drunk. I'm sorry, I was tired and I just wanted to relax, not get drunk.

I am allowed to do with my life as I please. Just because I'm not an alcoholic like you doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I just know that once I start drinking, its hard for me to stop. I dont like to put myself in that position so I try not to drink a lot.

He also wanted to know why I am the way I am. Apparently, I am very apprehensive and I don't answer questions in detail and whatever. I'm sorry, I barely know you, I'm not going to tell you my life story and why I am the way I am. Screw off.

Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals starts tonight at 8. Go Red Wings!

And now I will leave you with a wonderful black and white photo by the wonderful Dirk Behlau

Today Is My Birthday...Everything I've Done For The Last 2 Years Is Now Legal For Me

2009-05-29T20:43:00.013-04:00

I turned 21 today. If you go by conventional standards, it happend at 12:01 am, if you go by my mutti, it happened at 9:48 am. Yeah...I'm a morning baby. Probably why I prefer to sleep in.

Speaking of sleeping in...Violent Pat, another friend and I went out to the bar last night in this town we currently reside in called Hell. There, we saw a few friends. I got drunk, as one should be on their 21st. I wasn't trashed, but I did get pretty drunk.

We came back, watched The Princess Bride (which is totally fucking awesome when you're drunk) and then finally, at 5 am, Violent Pat and I crawled into bed. She fell into her bed, I had to climb up to my bed because my bed is lofted. Yeah...try doing that drunk and see what happens.

I woke up at a beautiful noon. Good day.

I've been at my computer ever since then. I haven't decided if I want to go out tonight or not. I kind of do, but part of me also wants to crawl into bed at a reasonable hour (like 11pm...or even 10!)

Le sigh....

You know what I want for my birthday? The perfect present would be Michael Poulsen wrapped up in a bow...he is simply adorable. Don't believe me? Lucky for you, I have photographic evidence. Behold:

He has the most beautiful blue eyes. See:

So adorable!

Aww...isn't he cute?!

I love a guy who headbangs! Rockers are my type.

Such a cute smile!

But wait...there's more!

Aww....I can't say enough about how cute he is.

"So easy to blame the horned. Mankind the sinner..." -Volbeat 'Hallelujah Goat'
Show me the horns!

He can even rock the sunnies.

So relaxed...

And there's even video evidence of his cuteness! (In case you aren't yet convinced) Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxAbcRvhl9A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e6XPoV8SCY&feature=channel_page

I never thought listening to someone speak Danish would be so adorable!

Ah...you know what, I must also throw in these pictures of Thomas, because he, too, is so cute!

Am I creepy? Maybe a tad. But seriously...one (Or both or even all of them) would make my birthday 100 times better. I adore Volbeat and I would love for them to come back to the states soon!!

I am going to go now...I'm going to watch some Volbeat videos on You Tube, practice my Danish, and pray to God to deliver me a Danish Metal/Rock God.

And then I'm going to drink and watch a movie. IDK what movie...maybe we'll watch Boondock Saints or A Knight's Tale. IDK.

Enjoy this fine day!

Skål!!

And The Hits Just Keep On Coming...Burgandy? What's Next...A Tattoo? Why Yes...Yes That Is Next!

2009-05-27T19:29:00.004-04:00

Yeah...that's me and my new haircut and color. I'm happy with how it looks. The cut is taking a bit to get used to. It's really short.

Really short.

I've got to find someone with a car so that Chelsea and I can go get my tattoo. I need to see if mutti will give me like 25 bucks or something. I hope I have enough for my tattoo.

I need to read for class and hockey is now on!

Let's Go Red Wings!!!

For Helvede! Bringing Back The 80s With My Wicked Haircut. It's Not Been This Short Since I Was A Kid. Dude, I Am Getting So Drunk On Friday!

2009-05-27T15:43:00.006-04:00

My attention span is short. I am all over the place and my brain won't settle.

I got my haircut today!

That's right bitches. It's a short as shit. I'm going to take better pictures later...when my brain isn't so hopped up on the imaginary drugs it thinks its on. I swear to God...I can't think straight.

Class is going good. Last weekend was nice. Granted, I was sick up until Monday, so I was basically whining all weekend. But my Mutti took me to Ikea and we walked around. It's freaking awesome that we have an Ikea in West Chester. Ikea is one of the greatest stores ever. Is it sad that I'm at the point in my life where I was super excited about buying pots for my kitchen? Yeah...I'm an adult.

As I said, class is good. Reiko joined the class, so now my bestie is there! It's pretty awesome. Our first paper is due next monday (our last monday class), but its only 3-5 pages, so it will be easy. Ya know...once I start it.

I am back to strongly considering getting a tattoo. I should, as of now, have just enough to get the tattoo that I want. It will be somewhat small and its only 2 words (not telling, you'll just have to wait to find out!). I just need to find someone with a car to take me and Violent Pat to the tattoo parlour. Shhh...don't tell Mutti, I want it to be a surprise.

Next year, probably in the Spring, I'll get my second tattoo that I really want. That one will be slightly more expensive since its 3 words. I should be making somewhere around $150-200 a month starting in September. I will have 2 jobs on campus. So basically, that 2nd tattoo will be the only thing I really splurge on next year.

I just talked with Dr. Canada and guess what?! I'm going to be a chair on a committee next semester at Model UN! As a chair, our hotel/conference/plane is all paid for by the school, so I will just have to pay for food and alcohol while I'm there! I also get to be there an extra few days, so life will be awesome!

My 21st is Friday! I would like my first legal drink to be a shot of tequila. I think I'll get Violent Pat to buy me my tequila so that right at midnight I can take a shot. That just means I need to get a lime to chase that shit. I'll have to get Mutti to give me some more money so I have enough to get me through for at least the next few weeks.

Hopefully I can go home next weekend. I won't have class that Monday, so I can get another 4 day weekend. Then I can get the rest of my b-day presents and find out what else I got. I opened my stuff from my mutti, far, Marine Chick, and Major Pain In The Ass. I got a Nightwish CD from MPITA and Curly (Century Child is an awesome CD! LOVE IT! Dank u weel!), I got The Art of War from Marine Chick, and a bunch of stuff from Mutti and Far. I got the Making Marines series on DVD, a set of penguin playing cards, a Poster of a Penguin Mommy, Daddy, and baby (it's so cute!!), and a pretty new shirt.

I can't wait to find out what else I got for my b-day.

It's nice rooming with Violent Pat. She and I have similar tastes in music, movies, and TV (and she likes Hockey!!!) so things are going good so far. Tonight the Wings are playing. She's not a wings fan, but she hates the Penguins as much as I do, so that definitely makes up for it. The fucking Penguins won last night which means they're going to the Stanley Cup Finals. I'm so pissed! Oh well, that just means they'll be twice as humiliated when the Red Wings kick their ass in the finals for the 2nd year in a row.

Screw the Penguins.

I'm trying to get back into learning Danish and Dutch. Dutch is actually coming along fairly well. Danish...not so much. Oh well, I'll keep at it and hope for the best. I've been talking with Violent Pat and I'm putting a lot of consideration into applying to grad schools abroad. Possible options are: Denmark, Netherlands, Germany, Italy, Greece, Spain, and Australia. Right now, Denmark and the Netherlands are my top two choices for outside of the US. Possible states in the US are: Texas...Texas...oh and Texas.

Wish me luck!

Thanks To My Lovely Roommate I FInally Figured Out This Internet Shit And So Now I Can Sit In The Comfort Of My Own Apartment And Be On The Internet

2009-05-20T17:54:00.006-04:00

So I finally got around to updating the blog. As you can see, its a Volbeat theme. I am totally in love with them and am openly mourning them not being American. If they were American, I'd have a chance to see them again. Who knows when I'll see them live again. But, since they are Danish, I can let them off the hook. I love Denmark!

COME BACK VOLBEAT!!

Can you guess who I love the most? Yes, Michael and Thomas. To be fair, at both shows, I was in front of them, so naturally I took the most pics of them. Most of the ones I took of Jon and Anders came out shitty, sorry guys.

Also, the lyrics are from their song 'Radio Girl' which I highly recommend. 'For Helvede' means For Hell in Danish. Love it!

Class is going well so far. We watched a clip from The Simpsons, Happy Days, and we watched a joke about nostalgia. We don't have class today or tomorrow because the other guy in my class (yes, there are only 2 of us) is on the track team and they have nationals this week. So he left today (coincidentally, he is my neighbor) and so we don't have class. Tomorrow, my Mutti is coming to pick me up and I'm going home for the weekend since I also don't have class on Monday.

AWESOME!

I am loving me some Red Wings! They are beating the Blackhawks 2-0 right now in the series. If they keep this up, we're going to the finals again! Interestingly enough, the Penguins are beating the Hurricanes, 2-0 in their series. If the Red Wings and Penguins win, it will be the second year in a row that the Wings and Penguins meet in the Stanley cup finals. Hopefully, it will be the 2nd year in a row that the Wings beat the Penguins in the Stanley cup finals.

Haha, that would be priceless!

So about Atlanta.

The drive down was ok. I freaked out for probably the first 3 or 4 hours and once I go about halfway through Tennessee, I calmed down. Atlanta wasn't as bad as I thought, but I still don't like it. I also don't like my GPS.

I met a few cool people in line. I saw Marco, Michael, Tuomas, Thomas, and Ewo. It was pretty cool because the buses were right next to the entrance for the club. BTW, I hate that club. I'll never go to another show there, I don't care who is playing. The ventilation sucks unless you're in the first row. There's no where to sit except on their nasty floor. Their bathroom is gross and had no soap. The people who work there were rude.

Also, pretty much everyone that went to that show (probably 90%) has no respect for people who are not feeling well. I almost threw up on people and passed out because I couldn't get out of the freaking crowd. I also got violently shoved by some douchebag as I tried to get out.

Volbeat was fucking fantastic! I started in the 4th row and thanks to the moshpit, ended up in the 2nd row! I love that band. They get so into their music and you can tell they are just having the time of their lives every show. Thomas and I had several eye locking moments. His facial expressions are the best! Michael and I locked eyes once and Anders and I locked eyes once. His was the best because his eyes went super wide and his jaw dropped cause I was rocking out to Pool of Booze. I loved it! Michael also seemed to get a kick out of me during Sad Man's Tongue cause I was screaming the words and was all over the place. I got to shake Michael and Thomas' hands, which was great. They're a great band and I would fucking love to see them live every night for the rest of my life.

After their set was when I started to feel awful. I finally got out of the crowd and eventually found the fucking bathroom. I splashed some water on my face and drank some and then headed back out. I couldn't get back to my spot, so I ended up going all the way to the back. Because of the way the Club is set up, if you're in the back, you don't get to see much. The stage is set so far down that you really only get a good view of the band if you're up front.

I stood for about 4 or 5 songs and then went out into the hallway because it was too fucking hot and I couldn't stand anymore. I made friends with this one girl and we talked for the rest of the show and hung out. It was nice to just listen to Nightwish and not deal with the ridiculous crowd.

I really didn't like most of the people I encountered at the Atlanta show. They were supreme douchebags, including the asshole who kept elbowing my ribs. I also want to say Fuck You to the douchebag security guy who stood in front of us during Volbeat and watched the assholes in the moshpit hurt people. Way to do your fucking job you fat fuck.

After the show, I left because I was too sick to stay. The drive back was sucky just because I felt so awful. All in all, it was worth it though. I got to see Volbeat give a kickass show and I got to hear Nightwish play Ghost Love Score.

COME BACK VOLBEAT!!!

Ya know, preferably to Cincinnati or somewhere else in Ohio. That doesn't take 7 hours to drive to.

Tak! Love you!

Screw School and Screw This Stupid Apartment How Can There Be No Internet? That Makes No Sense Someone Save Me From This Hell Before I Murder Someone!

2009-05-18T15:10:00.003-04:00

I've got to get back to my apartment because the room I am currently in is freezing (BTW, how is it that it's fucking cold as shit outside in May?!). My room is not that warm, but its much better than this ridiculous place and all other places on campus.

I'm back at school for class. I got on campus yesterday, moved in, only to realize that I forgot a shit ton of stuff. So we went to wal-mart to buy stuff and then we brought it back to my room and my parents left and I realized I still forgot stuff. Like sour cream for my potatoe skins. My roommate left yesterday shortly after I got there. She's not taking classes, she's just doing an internship before she leaves for France next month.

Which means I'm practically all alone in my big, beautiful, no internet apartment. I have a living room, full kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom. Does it surprise you that I slept on the floor last night? I'm sick right now. Either it's piggy-sniffles, a regular cold, or my allergy's are shitting a brick. Whatever it is, its kicking my ass. I have like 50 pages to read for tomorrow, except the books haven't come in yet, so I can't read.

Have I mentioned there's no internet in my room? That's so freaking ridiculous. I'm so pissed off.

However, Good news is that the Wings beat the Ducks and played their first game against Chicago last night, which they won! Yeah bitches! Totally going to the finals!

Well, I'm going to leave. I need to take some medicine and I need to sleep. I will leave the post about the concert with the many pics I took for another day. Or maybe later today if I feel like it.

25 Things I Hate About Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia. I Am In Love With The Stor (Great) Volbeat and Nightwish!

2009-05-15T23:56:00.004-04:00

First off, I am totally in love with Volbeat.

End of blog.

Ok, not the end of the blog, but I am in love with Volbeat. I cannot express to you how much I enjoy seeing them live. Love them!

Second, 25 Things I Hate About Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia

1. It rains too much in Kentucky.
2. As soon as I think I'm about to run into a Tornado in Kentucky, it stops raining and everything is sunny.
3. It takes way too long to drive through Kentucky.
4. I never even noticed I was in Tennessee until I hit some noticably Tennesseean town.
5. Tennessee takes way too long to drive through.
6. The only radio stations available in Tennessee are country stations and gospel.
7. It sucks to drive through 3 states (techically 4) when you have no CD player.
8. And the tape player is a bitch and all you have is Selena, The Carpenters and The Police.
9. Those are all good for only half an hour and then I'm done.
10. People don't know how to drive in Georgia.
11. Is it possible that we try to pay attention to what exit is coming up so that you aren't in the far left lane of 6 lanes of traffic when you realize your exit is coming up in 1000 feet?
12. GPS is stupid.
13. I heard a total of 6 good songs on the radio from 15 hours of being in the car.
14. So what if I didn't listen to the radio for the entire 15 hours, you try driving through the foothills of Kentucky and Tennessee and see if you can get a radio station.
15. In the middle of a horrible rainstorm!
16. People in Kentucky don't know how to drive in the rain.
17. Riding people's asses is not ok when it's raining heavily and there's a good 4 inches of rain on the road.
18. BACK OFF MY ASS ASSHOLE! I'm going 10 over, there's no reason to be pissed that I'm not doing 90 the entire drive!
19. I have a lead foot and this is a problem when driving down the hills of Tennessee and Kentucky because then I go from 80 to 90 very quickly.
20. People in Georgia who go to metal concerts are rude.
21. Driving in Atlanta is ridiculous.
22. Trying to scam me out of 5 bucks for parking? Screw you, I'll park on the street asshole.
23. The Georgia sun almost ruining a great evening.
24. Toilets not flushing in hotel rooms and you don't realize it until the next morning.
25. Forgetting to take pictures of Nightwish (more like I didn't take pictures because I was dying in the bathroom).

And the 1 thing I love about Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia:
1. They know its all Coke and not Soda, Pop, or Soda Pop. Get me a coke! Yes, I'd like a Sprite! Freaking Northerners don't know anything!

I will post my about night and post my pics tomorrow...when I'm not tired. God Abend (good night).

p.s. Danish is a great language.
p.p.s. In case you didn't know, I love Volbeat.
p.p.p.s. I have to go back to campus sunday :(

In Just 8 Hours, I Will Be On My Way To Atlanta To Meet Up With Some Cool Ass People And Enjoy Two Very Kick Ass Bands And I Am So Excited!

2009-05-13T23:17:00.002-04:00

Basically, the whole point of this blog is two fold:

1. I will be leaving for Atlanta at 7:30 am and will not be back home until around 6 pm or so on Friday.

2. I have the best parents in the world for letting me do this. I had to do some convincing, but I honestly think this experience is something I need. It's not so much about seeing the bands (although that's an extra 10 bonuses) but about leaving the house for 2 days by myself (and ya know, not having to steal a car or run away to do so) and all of that. This is the first time I will a.) drive a car for more than 3 hours and b.)be in the car by myself.

So I owe my parents a lot for this and I thank God I have the parents I do. They may be pains in my ass sometimes, but they let me get away with stuff no other parents would do and they let me do stuff and give me stuff that no other parents would.

So yeah, I will be back on Friday!

And I'll get back just in time to See Marine Chick, Birthday Stealer and Pingo. So excited!!

Thank you Far and Mutti. Ich liebe dich.

I'm Obsessing Over This Concert And How Happy I Would Be If I Could Go I Want One Last Chance To See Volbeat And Nightwish Live Please Pretty Please

2009-05-13T10:46:00.003-04:00

I'm obsessing over this show in Atlanta. The cheapest hotel I found on hotels.com is only $25 for one night, but you have to be 21 to check in. I'm not 21 yet, so IDK if they'd let me check in.

I'm looking all over the net to find a cheap hotel to convince my mom.

Dammit, I will go! I will go. It's the last happy thing I'll do for 8 weeks. The next 8 weeks are going to be hell. I need this. I want this. I will have this.

If I can go, there are soooo many people from the nightwish forum, it would be awesome to be able to finally meet other people from the forum! There were a few at the Louisville show, but IDK who they were until afterwards. It was comical.

I'm going to go get my Ohio drivers license today which means from today on, it is horizontal! WOOT! I'm an adult, yeah!

p.s. 16 days until I turn 21!!!!!!!
p.p.s. 1 day until the Nightwish show in Atlanta!!!!

What I Really Really Really REALLY REALLY REALLY Want For My Birthday...

2009-05-13T00:55:00.002-04:00

When I saw Nightwish last Wednesday, my brother paid for my ticket as an early b-day present (BTW, Alice...).

What I'd really like for my birthday, besides my p.22 Walter and my tea set, is the chance to see Nightwish on Thursday in Atlanta. It's $26.80 for the ticket on enterthevault.com (which, if you choose to let me go, I would have to order the ticket because it would have to be in my name so I could actually get in. Enter The Vault doesn't give hard tickets, you pick them up at the venue.) and then I would need a hotel for the night since it's an uber long drive from Cincy to Atlanta. Plus, someone would have to let my mom relenquish the van for the 2 days and I would need money for gas. Now, I can pay for the ticket myself. What I need is money for the hotel and gas. I can't explain how much I want to go.

The Atlanta show is the last show of the US tour for Nightwish. It will most likely be another 2, maybe even 3 years before Nightwish returns for a tour in the US. The Louisville show was, for me, the chance to experience Nightwish live for the first time. The Atlanta show would be about meeting up with people I've made aquantiance with on the forum and about just enjoying the show and not focusing on taking millions of pictures (BTW, all of my pics from the show are up on my facebook account) and hopefully, I could meet Volbeat and Nightwish.

So, if family is reading this, it would be seriously awesome to get a hotel for the night and gas money (and, ya know, convince mom and dad to let me go) so I can see Nightwish.

Plus, it'd be my first time going somewhere far away by myself. I need the practice, because in case you didn't know, I plan on moving to Texas after I graduate from university. That means I'll probably be driving from Ohio to Texas, most likely by myself. Or with my mom. But basically by myself. So this trip down to Atlanta for 2 days would be my chance to see what its like and to start to truly be an adult.

AND I REALLY WANT TO SEE NIGHTWISH AGAIN AND I DON'T WANT TO START WAITING FOR 2 YEARS JUST YET.

So..ya know...please?

I saw Star Trek with my far (that means Father in Danish, its my new name for my Dad) and his friends from school/work. It was pretty much the best movie of the year! Go see it if you haven't yet. On Sunday, for Mother's Day, my mutti, my far, my far's friend Zombie Killer #1, his mom, and I, went shooting out at the range. It was pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. Although, one of the sights on my far's rifles was not cooperating, so that was pissing him off. Other than that, a very productive day at the range.

The Wings lost tonight so they pretty much suck in my mind right now. On Saturday, it's Firebird's 23rd birthday. Hopefully, Marine Chick and her kids will come over and we'll go out to eat.

I go back to school on Sunday. 8 weeks of hell. Ugh....4 days a week of the same class for 2 hours a day. Not cool.

p.s. In 17 days, I will be 21!!!!!!!

To Keep All Of You Happy...Here Are A Few Pics From Louisville

2009-05-07T21:01:00.009-04:00

Here are a few of my pics from the Nightwish show in Louisville on May 6, 2009 (with Volbeat as their opening act). The pics are in reverse order, so I would suggest going to the bottom and working your way up.

Tuo, at the endo fthe show. Marco and Emppu with their backs turned. Anette and Jukka walking away.

Marco, Tuo, Anette, John, Jukka, and Emppu. Love them!

Tuo during "Wish I Had An Angel". Glorious! This was right after I threw the rock hand at him, he caught my eye, gave a huge smile and threw one back! I love this band!

Marco, Emppu and Anette during "Wish I Had An Angel"

Isn't he adorable?!

I will say that I am almost done. I know I said a few...this is my version of a few.

Marco talking while Emppu sits in the background and contemplates things.

Tuo and John Two-Hawks hugging after "Creek Mary's Blood". AWESOME SONG!

John and Anette during "Creek Mary's Blood".

John at the start of "Creek Mary's Blood". I'm so glad he was at the Louisville show!

Emppu, right in front of me. This was probably before he threw the pick that went over my head. It was mine. We had eye contact. It was MINE! I curse whoever has it.

I have nothing left to say.

Emppu! Probably taken right before he threw his pic to someone, only to miss them entirely. It happens often with Emppu. But we love him all the same.

Tuo, Emppu and Marco

Emppu hanging out during "The Poet and The Pendulum", I believe. Actually, I don't even know.

This picture was taken to show you the rainfall that comes from Tuo's head as he headbangs. Do you see that?

Anette during "The Islander"

Well...you only live once. Read this from top to bottom (which is essentially, backwards). Do it, I dare you.

Marco dazzled with "The Islander". Beautiful song.

Marco, Emppu, and Anette.

This shot was to show you the various things on Tuo's chain. It didn't come out that well.

Tuo, Emppu, and Anette interact.

Marco Hietala! God among men.

Just...start at the bottom of this blog...please.

Anette is so gorgeous!

Emppu rocking out.

I started out right in front of Marco (who is always next to Tuo) and ended the concert by being right in front of Tuo. No better place to rock out.

The blonde guy is Ewo, the manager for Nightwish. Hilarious guy.

This is Edward Scissorhands. He is on front of Tuo's front keyboards. Next to the Overworked and Underfucked sticker. Really Tuo? You are, after all, the Maestro. Women love you. But I like to believe this just means that you don't sleep with just anyone. Good guy. The type of guy that you could bring home to mutti and dad, minus the dreadlocks, the sticker, and the eyeliner.

Huh...suddenly the second set of pics I post have appeared at the top. Stupid blogspot. This whole thing is now out of order. Read from the bottom up. NOW!

That would be Captain Jack Sparrow on one of Tuo's keyboards. Awesome.

Oh...that would be Michael (refresher: lead singer of Volbeat, a kick ass Danish band) combing his hair. Apparently someone mentioned to him that it had gotten a bit funky looking (see below).

That is Anders, the guitarist or bassist (I think bassist) for Volbeat. This was one of the only decent pics of him that I took. The other ones all look like we're starring in some horror movie that deforms people when you take pics of them. I'd show you, but I deleted them from my computer.

More Michael with messed up hair. This was before he combed it. Blogspot...really? Must we put them in reverse order? Maybe I'll get smart and switch them. But I'm lazy and hockey starts in a couple of minutes. Let's Go Red Wings! (by the time this blog was posted, the game had ended. We won, 6-3! HAHA!) Oh, btw...notice his beautiful J.R. Cash tattoo. This guy is awesome! I've only just realized you can't see the J.R. Cash tattoo. Rest assured, it's there.

This is the guitarist for Volbeat, Thomas (or maybe it's spelled Tomas). I adore him simply for the wonderful faces he makes during songs. He mouthed pretty much all the words and was in this gig like 200%. BTW, Michael kept prouncing Louisville as it looks (lewis ville) when its actually pronounced Lew-e-ville. Love the Danish!

These are in the reverse order. Stupid blogspot. I swear, these were the first five pics I uploaded.

This would be the sexiness that is the lead singer of the opening band, Volbeat. Volbeat is a Danish band and now rank #3 on my list of obsessions. Before them? Nightwish and Penguins. Congratulations Volbeat and Michael Poulsen, you now have yourselves a new fantatic. Check out his hair. This is what happens when you headbang.

This is Jukka, the drummer for Nightwish (DUH!), signing my MCD cd booklet. I believe that is my poster sitting in front of him, having already signed it. That would be the loveliness that is Tuomas Holopainen, the keyboardist for Nightwish (Double Duh!), sitting next to Jukka.

Beautiful Anette, the singer for Nightwish (triple duh!) with Jukka next to her. Anette was talking to the guy in front of my brother, I believe. Or maybe it was my brother. IDK. I just know she was talking to someone. She is so gorgeous, makes me jealous. Ohio <3s>

And there is Mr. Marco Hietala, the bassist for Nightwish (another Duh!) and the lovable, adorable, cute Emppu Vuorinen, the guitarist for Nightiwish (do I really need to say Duh, Again? No, but apparently I need to randomly capitalize Letters.) signing stuff for my brother.

OMG, who is that? IDK, my BFF Marco Hietala. WTF Marco, I can't believe you smoke. LOL at all the acronym thingys. IDK if that's what you really call them. BTW, just so you realize, this is a pic of Marco smoking before the show was even close to starting. I was sitting in my van with my bro when I look out and see Marco. I took a few pics and I didn't tell anyone. HAHAHA!

Too Busy To Blog...What In The Hell Is The World Coming To? BTW Wolverine Is The Best And I Can't Wait For Transformers YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-02T17:08:00.002-04:00

I had an x-men marathon yesterday and today Alice and I went to see Wolverine. AWESOME.

I've got a lot of take home finals and papers to work on, so I'll see you next month!

J/k...I'll be back on like...tuesday...maybe.

I'm going home on monday and then tuesday alice is coming and wednesday we're going to see Louisville for Nightwish.

I'm so excited!!!

Love you all and to all the seniors: I will miss you more than you will ever know.

4 DAYS UNTIL NIGHTWISH!!!!

I Had Something Really Important To Say But I Cannot Remember What It Was So I'm Going To Talk About Something Else and Hope I Remember

2009-04-29T12:57:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure I'm about to go into heart failure. I'm really working myself up over nothing. It's ridiculous.

I had something that I wanted to blog about but I can't remember what it was. I should really learn to write this shit down.

I think this is my shortest blog ever.

p.s. 1 Week Until I See NIGHTWISH!!!! OMG!!!! Fangirly mode: GO!

p.p.s. 2 Days of Finals and 5 Days Until I'm Home!!!

p.p.p.s. Soon-to-be-Dr. Statistics is the coolest guy ever.

p.p.p.p.s. 16 Days Until I See The Greatest And Coolest Choir Ever!!!

Update:

I'm an idiot. A big, big idiot.

I remember what I wanted to say.

I wanted to say that I love it when people read my blog (I mean, why else would I have a blog if I didn't want people to read it). I hate it when people come up to me and say "Oh, I read your blog! I ____ it!" (fill in blank with love, hate, or w/e). It bothers me because I want to know that people read it, but I don't want people to tell me in person that they read it. Or even on facebook. Comment on here all you want, just don't bring it into my real life.

You want to know why? I'll tell you why.

I'm an idiot and I'll say things that I don't mean or that I'm to chicken shit to say to your face and I'd rather pretend that you have never read it. So when you tell me that you've read it, I know you know what I said about you and then I have a mini heartattack over it and I spend my time freaking out over whether you hate me, love me, think I'm freak or a bitch or whatever.

Obviously, I'm just talking about people I go to school with. I know my family thinks this blog is hilarious. But I'm talking about the people I say stupid shit about (douped? I was never douped. I used the wrong word. There was no douping involved. Promises were never made and nothing was ever said. it happened and we moved on. End of story. No douping) and people I talk shit about (like all of those bears. Some are nice, some are major douchebags) and people I used to be friends with (like Former Best Friend and The One Who Hates Me And I Don't Know Why). These are the people I don't want to confront about my blog.

And that's why I have been having a mini heart attack all day. OVER NOTHING. It was nothing. Well, not nothing, but it was nothing to freak out over. I just saw a few words and I didn't read the rest and I freaked out.

I know that makes no sense to you, but trust me, it was cause for concern for a whole 5 words and then the rest was fine. No reason to freak out.

But if I didn't freak out, then I wouldn't be me.

Catching Up With Old Friends Is Great Until You Start Questioning Who They Are And If They're The Person You Thought They Were

2009-04-28T23:32:00.002-04:00

I was talking to a friend, Brando 13, on facebook tonight and I began wondering if he was the Brando I was thinking of. I'm not sure if he is or if I'm thinking of the other Brando we went to high school with. Shit man. I have to wait until I go home and can look in my yearbook before I can figure this shit out. The problem is that there were two Brando's when I was a sophomore. And they both looked a lot alike. I had a crush on one of them, but I don't remember which one. I just know that the one I liked went to a Tiger Army concert once. Sadly, when I was in high school, I didn't realize the greatness that is Tiger Army, otherwise I would have been all over that shit like a fat kid on cake.

Tiger Army is beautiful. Tiger Army is awesome. Tiger Army is life.

I just, ya know, wanted to update you on that.

Also, this douchebag in my advanced research methods class gave a 30 minute speech on his 23 page paper. Guess what? Our papers only had to be like 10-15 pages. Can we say overboard? Basically, he wrote all of our papers for us.

Ridic. I was starving the entire time, hoping he would just shut up so I could go get my grilled cheese.

Nothing gets between me and my grilled cheese.

Oh and I may or may not have accidently squeaked during his presentation.

I may or may not have been trying to talk to the people at the table next to me to complain about the presentation.

Just saying.

btw...Mahjong is killer.

I Can Feel Your Hands On Mine, I Can Hear Your Infectious Laugh, I Can Smell You As If You Were Right Next To Me...But You're Not

2009-04-28T15:16:00.003-04:00

Something happened to me not long ago today that has never happened to me before. I was reading The Bloggess and for some reason, something was triggered and I could smell him. He is the guy I've had a crush on since the semester started, because that was when we first met, although we didn't start talking until we went on the trip to San Fran. I was just sitting at my computer and then it hit me. I could smell him, I could feel his hands on mine, and I could hear him laughing. It was if he was right here with me.

IDK why it happened. I've never had an experience like that before and frankly, its unnerving. I think it may have something to do with the fact that today was our last day of class and tomorrow is the absolute last day of classes. I won't see him again, in class at least, unless I see him outside of class, which I never do. Although I suppose I may see him thursday at the Opera Scenes. So yeah. And then he graduates which means I probably won't ever see him again.

Another year come and gone and I'm in a somewhat similar position to last year. Except he, unlike the doucehbag from last year, never said 'next year we'll hang out'. Mostly because he won't be here next year. There's no promises. No words. Nothing. Just emptiness.

I hadn't expected it to hit me this hard. We have become friends, yes, but until the choir concert sunday, I hadn't put much more thought into anything regarding him and I. Not that anything will happen, but w/e. It's just weird to feel this way.

I turned in my letters yesterday. :( Some of the guys said they weren't expecting it, and they're sad that I'm leaving. But I know that I have to distance myself in a fashion from them or else I'll lose what little sanity I have left. I just simply wasn't that happy with them anymore. And yes, a tiny sliver is because of what happened with me and douchebag. Most of it is because of the girls they pledged last semester and some of the guys they pledged this semester. I just wasn't happy anymore.

A week from today I'll be home. I've got to call my mom to talk about it. I'm done with exams Monday at 12. It'll prolly take us a couple hours to pack everything up since I have a shitload of shit.

It all feels so final. Even though I'll be back on the 17th, it's just weird right now. Its like, when I come back for summer, so many of the people I love and adore will have graduated. They won't be here next year. I'll have just a handful of people I care about and its scary because this time next year, I'll be graduating. I'll have to go out and get a real job (ya know and not get paid just to sit at a computer, twitter and read comics online) and pay for shit myself and not expect my mutti and dad to foot the bill.

Shit bitch, wtf? Maybe I'll just find some rich guy to marry immediately and that way I won't have to worry about anything.

haha, yeah right.

I will find some piddle shit of a dump apartment in Texas to finish writing my horrible story about a girl who falls in love and has her heart horribly broken and leaves only to return some 20 years later to find out the guy she fell in love with was always in love with her, just never knew how to show it. Ok, so I basically just ruined most of the book for you, but its no big deal. It's a horribly written book. I finished it last year, but I've got to start rewriting it so that's its like 20 times better.

Or maybe I'll sit in my piddle shit of a dump apartment in Texas and work on my book about vampires and werewolves and God, cause that shit is hot right now.

Or I could work on my superhero book.

haha...I'm a freaking dork.

Before I go...just to let you all know...Mahjong is the best and worst game ever. I am horribly addicted to it, but it makes me so angry sometimes. I hate not winning at Mahjong. It's a great game, play it!

p.s. 8 days Until I See Nightwish!!!

p.p.s. 17 days Until I See The Best Choir Ever!!!

Twitter Me Stupid

2009-04-27T17:15:00.003-04:00

My human rights draft on the Armenian genocide=complete and epic fail.

Well, maybe not epic, but its a definite fail. Too be fair, I was on painkillers when I wrote it, so I never expected it to be epic grandness. Dr. Canada was disappointed with it which, quite frankly, makes me upset. He's my mentor, my advisor, my backboard, and my cheering section here at this ridiculous piddle dump of a school. When he's disappointed with my work, I'm disappointed with myself.

So I am going to work my ass off for the next week and rewrite the best paper ever on Armenian Genocide and why if the west continues to fail to acknowledge the genocide, human rights is a fail.

I'm a bitch. Let me just get that out there. I say things about people and I talk behind their backs. I don't understand why people do certain things, like stop talking to people who were their best friends. I don't understand the actions of many of the people I call friends. I realize this is normal. We hardly ever completely identify with those around us and we will often find ourselves trying to figure out why people do/say the things they do/say.

But I am a bitch. If I don't like you, I will not make you think I do. There is one person in particular that I will never like and he knows it, I've told him often. I think he's an idiot. I think he's a jackass and I don't want to be a friend to him. He asked me if he was on his deathbed and all he wanted was for us to be friends if I would concede. Being the good Catholic that I am, I told him no. There will never be anything that he can do or say that would make me like him.

End of story.

There are people here at this school that don't realize I am actually a big bitch and will cut you down if need be. They think I'm a shy, quiet girl who is very nice and wants to get along with everyone. Wrong. I don't want to get along with everyone. There is no need for me to. Here is my political analogy: I am a country and I will only be allies with other countries that can offer me something. Now, that being said, I'm not friends with people cause they can give me money or gifts or whatever. I'm friends with people that will give me friendship back. There are plenty of people in the world I will never get along with and thus will never be friends with and I don't care. My world will not end if Ms. so and so does not want to be my friend or if Mr. so and so does not like me.

I bring things on me. I bring hatred and the like on me. Right now, I am sitting here trying to decide on how to tell one of my best friends that I can no longer support his fraternity by being in the corollary. He will be the first guy in the frat that I tell and it is very important he is the first to know. I know that many of the guys will be mad at me and that sucks. But to be honest, I haven't felt much of a friendship with most of them in a long time. I would hope that they can accept my decision and that those of us who are still friends will continue to be my friends, but I also know what these guys are like and frankly, I'm expecting the worst.

Of course, I may be pleasantly suprised like Violent Pat and end up having the guys treat me better now, but who knows.

I just know I'm not happy being in the corollary and I will be happy when I don't have to deal with the drama. It hurts having to say I don't support them nemore, but its for the best.

I just have to keep telling myself that.

And now...now I will re-evaluate my life and figure out where things went wrong and try to fix my life. I will focus more on school and I will finish this last week strong.

I've gained a pound in the last 2 days, which may not seem like much to you, but it is to me. It seems like the food is starting to stick to me. Of course, it may also help that I am almost continually eating during the day and I ate half a medium pizza by myself in just 2 hours. hehe oink oink.

I'm so tired and just sort of defeated, yet not. I feel like I still have so much more to give in these last week, I just need to get it done.

Well, I'm about to send my letter to the current and next presidents of the fraternity. The shit shall now hit the fan. Or maybe nobody will really care.

p.s. 9 days until I See Nightwish!!!

This Makes No Sense To Me...When Did I Become Like You?

2009-04-26T11:26:00.007-04:00

Growing up, if I was out in the sun for five minutes, I'd come back in with a tan. After moving to Ohio, it takes much longer for me to tan, but I do still tan.

Perhaps, I should say did.

Last night I kept wondering why I was so hot even though our heater was on 70. (note-I like to keep it up around 75 or 80, I like it hot bitch. I lived in Texas, its just how it is). So fastforward a couple hours and I look into the mirror to check out a pimple on my face. Except what do I see? RED. I'M SUNBURNED ALL OVER MY FACE AND MY ARMS.

You can't really see it, but I am sunburned. This is my half-pissed off, half-feeling like shit face.

OMG, someone shoot me. I feel so freaking hot even though our heater is now on 60. My arms and face hurt like the dickens and nothing is helping. I feel too nausaus to eat, even though I'm hungry (and btw, I ate half a medium pizza all by myself last night, a feat that I've never before accomplished). AHHHH

You see, yesterday, I spent a few hours out in the sun watching roomie Kermit play softball. Yesterday was senior day and today is strike out cancer. Too bad I wore my strike out cancer shirt yesterday cuz I thought they already had it. haha. Oh well, guess I'm wearing it again today. Even though I don't want anything touching my arms.

And I'm going back outside today. I have to support roomie. This time tho, I'm going supplied with water. Cuz I don't have sunscreen because I DON'T BURN. I'm freaking 1/4 Native American and that used to be enough to save me. Now...the 1/2 German and 1/4 Irish are rearing their head going 'hahaha bitch. You thought you were safe! Not anymore!' and I'm rolling in pain because of it.

I need my mommy.

Not that she or dad is picking up the phone. I take it back, I don't like Marine chick living near by. Apparently they're in Indiana visiting. WTF! What about me?!?

Ok...I'm done.

p.s. 10 days Until I see Nightwish!!!

Laughter was Heard, Feet were stepped on, Tears Were Shed and Still Noone Hears the Truth

2009-04-25T18:48:00.003-04:00

When I came to this ridiculous school in August 2006, I didn't know what to expect. Almost three years later, I often wish I had never come to this school because then I would still have my sanity, my dignity, and I maybe wouldn't have shed so many tears. It's true that its quite possible that similar things would have happened to me no matter which school I went to, but in my mind, all things horrible that have taken place in the last 3 years are the direct cause of this school.

It's not to say its been all doom and gloom at the school, mostly just the last 9 months. Ever since August, its as if everything has been crumbling around me. I have no where to go, no one to understand what I'm feeling inside. Reiko and Alice are the two greatest friends I could ever have, but neither can understand what I'm feeling inside. They've had their share of heartache, but mine is different. I stood by and watched as the guy I had fallen in love with fell for someone else after all but promising me what I had waited so long for. Then I watched as my best friend turned her back on me when I had done nothing wrong. Then I watched as I fell for someone again and again, he walked away as if I was nothing.

And the fact of the matter is that its all my fault. I could have saved myself from most of my problems if I had listened to people last year when they told me not to fall for Douchebag. But the heart yearns for what the brain does not want. And the other guy? Ha, I was douped from the get go.

Basically...I need to get away from everything and everyone that has to do with this school. I can't think straight. Nothing in my brain works. I'm just a blob of emotions and every step I take is the wrong step and I can't do this anymore. My heart can't take this anymore and my body is emotionally and physically exaughsted. I have a year left of school and I cannot wait. I am going to start managing my money seriously and start saving up. Once I graduate, I'm not just leaving this town, but this entire state.

I am moving back to Texas. I am moving to a state where I will not constantly be the butt of jokes for my personal beliefs and political opinions. I am moving to a state where I will not die every winter. I am moving to a state where there is someone who does not play with my emotions. I am moving to a state where the best friend I've ever had in my entire life lives. I will finally be able to be myself and finally be with the person who makes me fell complete and doesn't make me question every move I make or every word I speak.

It'll be hard to be so far from my family, but I know I can make it. I have to. I won't last in Ohio. I think the only reason I'll survive for another year is because I'll be so busy making sure I graduate and trying to earn enough money to leave that I won't be focusing on all the negative shit around me.

Formal was tough for me last night. To be there knowing it will be the last time I attend an event as a Bud. Most likely, it'll be the last time I ever attend a Bear event. I cried at the end. Out of frustration, out of happiness for the negativity to be over, and out of saddness that my friendships with so many people have failed.

Make no mistake, it was fun. After people finally started showing up, I had a glorious time. I lost my voice from screaming lyrics so often and my legs hurt from jumping around and dancing. It's hard to know that in just two weeks, so many of my dearest friends will be graduating. I'll miss them so much.

I think, honestly, most of my gloom comes from myself. I've battled with depression on a small scale since my brother's attempted suicide. It's something not widely known and I prefer it that way. My depression is different from my brother's. I don't selfharm physically, just mentally. I've spent 7 years convincing myself I am not good enough for anyone and never will be. I am not attractive, just plain. I am not smart, just average. I am not anything, just kind of in the corner, alone. Violent Pat told me I'll never have a relationship until I believe in myself. The problem is that even when I do believe in myself, nothing happens except bad things, hence falling back into my depression.

I believe I can be fixed, but I need to surround myself with people who want me around. I always feel like I'm not wanted here. I feel like half of the people are only my friends because I'm here, not because they actually like me. I'm sure most of it is my paranoia, but I'm also sure that there are people who are just pretending to like me. And I'm also sure it will be like this for the rest of my life. But when I find that one person to spend the rest of my life with and to have a family with, I'm quite sure all of the crap will not be so big of a deal.

I know a lot of people don't understand why I'm so insistent on finding my husband. It's not because of fairytales or what have you. I just know, deep down, I'm missing apart of me and I know that I will be complete when I get married and have a family. I don't expect it to happen anytime soon, but I know it will one day and when it does, very little will be able to break me.

Until then, I'm broken, waiting for that person to come along and fix me.

Did I mention that my true love must love Rush as much, if not more, than me? just saying...

p.s. 11 days until I see Nightwish!!!

p.p.s. 3 days left of classes and 2 days of finals!!!

Back From The Most Liberal City In America And I Had The Greatest Time Of My Life With Me New Besties

2009-04-23T23:51:00.003-04:00

Well...I got back from San Fran on Tuesday night. I was sick tuesday cause I was, ya know, drunk/hungover and I am now subject to motion sickness especially when I'm 100% stressed as I have been for the previous three weeks and then some. So...let's start at the beginning, shall we?

I got drunk Thursday night and was still drunk by the time we had to meet at 5 am to leave for the airport. I quickly realized being drunk the night/morning you are to fly is not a good idea unless you've packed everything, and I mean everything. I almost forgot my toothbrush and toothpaste. I surpisingly made it on time to the bus and we all forged our way on the 2 hour trip out to Detroit.

We had a 4 hour 15 minute flight from Detroit to San Fran and I got a window seat!!! WOO HOO!! I love the window seat. I was sitting next to Gnome and Bach, which was ok. We got to San Fran and I felt fairly good considering the fact I was hungover. My roomies in San Fran were Ms. Chill, Sweetheart, and Violent Pat. They are the best roomies ever. Friday was fairly simple. We went to the market to get food and pretty much relaxed for the rest of the afternoon. We had opening ceremony and then our first session, which was 4 hours. UGH, ridic. Arle, my committee partner, My Nati Bestie and his committee partner AIG, Afro and his committee partner Fio were not to terribly happy about a 4 hour session, especially when we had all been up since about 4 or 4:30 and had flown across the freaking country. We were on Fourth Committee. Me and Arle were Iran, My Nati Besti and AIG were Ireland and Afro and Fio were Canada. I chuckle at the fact that Iran, Ireland, and Canada were totally besties in our committee even though that would never happen in real life.

I woke up Saturday morning dead sick. I threw up in a plastic bag because Violent Pat was in the bathroom (WHORE) and I spent the entire morning sleeping and hoping my brain would stop trying to escape through my pores. I ended up going to committee at about 2pm. Luckily, Saturday was a short day for everyone and we all got out at 4 to have the evening off. Dr. Canada took most of us down to the pier and I had a great night with Sweetheart, her boyfriend Farm Boy, and Violent Pat.

Sunday was an ok day. Once we hit lunch tho, I was done. Arle and I went back to our rooms during a caucus and started drinking. During the next two caucus' I took naps. Arle and I were done at dinner though. We took the evening session off and went to Palo Alto with Sweetheart, Violent Pat, Roughhouser, and Kosi, and Dr. Canada. it was another great evening.

Monday was, by far, the best day ever. I went to morning session and all was well. At lunch, I went to my room and talked with Ms. Chill, The Greatest Playwrite Ever, and Not from This State. Turns out, Iran's beloved leader Mahmoud was severely disrespected at the Geneva Conventions and it also turns out that the conference was forcing the male Iranian delegates to wear ties even though Iranian men do not wear ties. Dr. Canada specifically told the guys in our delegation not to wear ties. So I tell Ms. Chill, who is the head of our Iranian delegation, that I'm going to stage a walkout in my committee.

So we pass it on and I put my speech together. Arle, Fio, AIG, and My Nati Bestie are super excited and so was India and Indonesia who were sitting next to me. I'm pretty sure Iraq was wondering what the hell was wrong with everyone around her. So, after we get out of our caucus on the cold war, I rise under a p-25, Point of Personal Privlage and rattle off my speech (while wearing my headscarf), then, to wonderous applause, Arle and I walk out. Dr. Canada loved it and everyone was super excited. Two more members of the Iranian delegation ended up walking out of their committees as well and I ended up on the front page of the newspaper for the conference.

Totally epic. And Arle and I were out of committee 3 hours early. You know what that means. We started drinking. I was definitely drunk at the banquet that night. Dude, I was sooooo gonna slap a bitch. The Secretary-General gets up to give her speech at the banquet and holds up a bunch of ties and says 'If anyone needs any ties, I have some extras'. Uh, yeah, fuck you. Ha, I forgot to mention that she gave some remarks to the paper for the article and called me an unfortunate delegate that was trying to play in character, but failed. She also said that the Iranian delegation acts with more diplomacy than I did, which is false cuz the Iranians are always spouting off shit about the Israelis and the West whenever its appropriate. I totally was in character and she's just pissed cuz someone did something to "ruin" her perfect conference. Even though, all it did was a little some extra.

So after the banquet Ms. Chill and I went over to My Nati Besti, The Greatest Playwrite Ever, Ice Machine, and Super Afro's room to drink and shit. I got trashed and ended up staying the night with them. It was an awesome night. there's a couple more stories from that night, but I'll leave it at it was an awesome night.

Tuesday sucked cuz I only got like an hour of sleep before we had to be up to go to the airport. I sat next to The Greatest Playwrite Ever on the plane and I'm pretty sure I kicked him a few times after I fell asleep. But he's a trooper and didn't complain. Great guy.

When I got back to campus on Tuesday and plugged in my computer, the stupid school wouldn't let me on the internet and it took my until this afternoon to fix the damn thing. I freaking hate this school sometimes.

I'm not in a mood to elaborate. I need to get to bed and I still need to finish summarizing an article for science.

Also...the Bears are a bunch of douchebag's and I'm not too terribly excited for formal tomorrow night. Mostly cuz I'm still tired as fuck.

Basically, douchebag can suck a lemondrop cuz I'm done with that group and their ridiculousness.

RED WINGS WON BITCHES!!!! AHHHHHHHAAAAAA My red wings kicked butt tonight and beat the Blue Jackets 4 games to nothing! EAT THAT COLUMBUS. Douchebag was so pissed. HAHA. Three more series and we can add Stanley Cup Ring #12!

p.s. I have only four days left of classes.

p.p.s. 12 Days Until I See NIGHTWISH!!! AHHHHH!!!!!

p.p.p.s. I totally forgot to mention that I absolutely adore The Greatest Playwrite Ever, My Nati Bestie, Super Afro, and Ice Machine. Four of the greatest guys ever. Super Afro didn't know I drink. hehe...now he does. <3>

I'm Totally Blogging About This Dream I Had Because I Have A Blog and There's This Thing Called Free Speech And I'm Pretty Sure We Still Have It

2009-04-15T22:51:00.004-04:00

So, I was just straightening my hair and this crazy vision of Friday morning popped into my head. Friday morning is when we fly out to San Fran for the Conference. This is what went through my mind:

Picture this-We're checking in and the lady looks up my name and then tells me I'm not allowed to fly. Turns out, I'm on the Terrorist Watch List cause I organized a Tax Day Tea Party (Cause we're right-wing extremists and are trying to undermine a historical presidency and shit, duh, we're terrorist bitch, it's what we do!!) so they won't let me fly. Then the security cop guy comes to take me to a holding room and I start screaming to my classmates about how the airline won't let me fly cause they think I'm gonna teabag the pilot to death and shit. I'm all 'I'll TEABAG ALL OF YOU IF YOU DON'T LET ME FLY' and they're all 'SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY! EVERYONE STAY BACK!!' and then I'm all 'DAMN STRAIGHT BITCH! I KNOW HOW TO TEA BAG! I'LL TEABAG YOU UNTIL YOU BLEED! I TAKE NO PRISONERS! TORTURE ALL THE WAY!!' and then basically, I get my head chopped off by none other than Barack Obama himself on national TV!!! They're serious man. Obama wants to prove a point to all the crazy right-wingers out there and he's so gonna use me to do that. I don't want to go to the airport now!

Basically, if that shit happens on Friday, I TOTALLY CALLED IT!

Oh, and like for shiz, we've been labeled terrorists by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. Totally b.s. Democrats dared to question the Bush administration for 8 years and they were simply patriotic for standing up to their president but when we do it, we're fucking terrorists and we're trying to undermine a historical presidency.

BITE MY ASS GOVERNMENT! I AM NOT A TERRORIST!!! I AM A CONCERNED AMERICAN WHO DOES NOT WANT TO PAY OFF YOUR STUPID DEBT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!! Dude, I can't even afford college, what makes you think I can afford to pay off your big business debt. Oh, and BTW, can I get a bailout? Cause, ya know, I'm attending a school I can't afford and shit.

I totally stapled my finger today. Two days after I jammed a hairclip metal thingy in another finger and a day after I cut a chunk out of my hand. Oh and let's not forget today at the tea party when I looked down at my foot and saw BLOOD all over my heel. I apparently had a blister back there and it burst and I bled all over my nice, $50 shoes that I only paid $20 for. SON OF A BITCH. Yeah...I'm doing fantastic! My nerves are all over the place, especially now that the government is screwing us over big time with this terrorist shit. Like, really? I didn't believe it when I first read it. This coming from the government that ceased the war on terror and this coming from the government that won't label islamic extremists terrorists but ya know, the u.s. citizens who dare to question him, yeah, we're terrorists.

Hi, my name is Sarah Ward and I'm a right-wing extremist, also know as a terrorist. I'll be teabagging you today. Would you prefer Earl Grey or English Breakfast Tea? Or perhaps some Afternoon Darjeeling?

I'm gonna be stewing over this for a while and when something big goes down, I'm gonna stand in the middle of campus and scream 'I TOLD YOU SO!' cause I so totally called this like last november. I'm so good.

We got about 75 people to come out to the tea party today and everyone was very enthusiastic. We made about $140 off the shirts and some donations from nice people. It was great and now I have cuccumber and cream cheese sandwiches to enjoy. Yummy yummy.

Why are all the liberals calling the Tea Parties teabagging? I don't get it. Ok, yes I sadly know what teabagging is, but why the mixup? Is this some elaborate plot to make it seem like conservatives are calling the tea parties teabagging? Cause we're not. It's always been tea party, I hadn't heard anyone before today call it teabagging. Seriously...liberals...grow up. And BTW, this is not a conservative thing. Yes, many of us doing/organizing the tea parties are conservatives, but I had a few liberals at my tea party today and they feel the same way the rest of us do about big spending. This whole spend and tax shit has got to end. Ya know, before we have more than a 3 trillion dollar debt.

My body aches. I am mentally and physically exaughsted (how in the hell do you spell that fucking word?). I am done. Just done. I am ready for this sem to be over so I can relax for a few days before I start summer school. I want to breathe again. I want to be calm again. My eyes can't take all this twitching anymore!

Alice and I went to see Fast and Furious last night...35 mins from where we live. Yeah, road trip bitch! We went after room draw (HAHAHA we totally got the only double in Williard. Yeah bitch). It was a freaking fantastic movie and I can't wait for the next one!!

Me and online dude that is totally my soulmate are totally gonna end up together. And if he reads this, I swear I'm not as creepy as I sound.

Maybe...like a little bit. Hehe. He likes Rush. And AC/DC and he lives in Texas...and he's getting his PhD in Statistics or some shit. Basically...he's perfect. Did I mention he's conservative? UH YEAH BITCH. God totally means for me and him to hook up and be all Christian and shit together. Ok...this is totally getting creepy. We're gonna pretend I'm not rushing this shit and I'm actually sane.

Pretending over.

Rammstein's supposed to release a new CD this year. Which means touring. Which means #2 on my list of bands I have to see live before I die will totally be crossed off. JA WOHL BIOTCH!! I don't know how to say bitch in German. I know it in Spanish, but not German. I've got to work on my cussing in other languages. It's the only way to be successful in life.

Just saying.

p.s. Just so you're aware, TheBloggess totally caused the recession. She said so herself!
p.p.s. 20 Days Until I See NIGHTWISH!!!
p.p.p.s. I say bitch way too much. I need to cut this shit out. Like for real...bitch.

I Totally Hate Your Face...Happy Easter!

2009-04-13T23:52:00.006-04:00

Hm...yesterday was easter, you point out? Actually, by the time this is posted, two days ago will have been easter. I don't care. I'm still gonna say Happy Easter.

Marine Chick celebrated her birthday on the 12th. Mutti, Dad, Firebird and I met her, The Marine, Birthday Stealer and Pingo in an undisclosed location at an undisclosed restauraunt (holy shit, is that spelled right? Dude..spanish totally screwed me up. I can't spell anything anymore. I second guess everything nowadays. Ridiculouso bitches. I don't think ridiculouso is spelled right either, crap this) to celebrate her birthday. She turned 25...or was that 27? Maybe 31? IDK, she had a freaking birthday. And let me explain something, Birthday Stealer is so named because he was born on my 12th birthday. TOTALLY STOLE MY THUNDER! THANKS MARINE CHICK. /end Sarcasm. He was due the 28th but decided to come late. Oh, it gets better. I was born at 9:48 am, he outdid me and was born at 9:03. NOT COOL BS (that's Birthday Stealer, in case you were wondering if I was cussing out a soon-to-be 9-year-old, cause I so wouldn't do that to him even if he did steal my birthday). And to top it all off, he was my doppleganger for a while after birth. Uhh...dude, in case you were wondering, I have the worst case of youngest sibling disease. I bitch about everything regarding my older siblings all the time cause I can. I'm totally Kit from A League of their Own. Except, instead of just one Dottie, I HAD THREE! Imagine coming after Major Pain In The Ass, Marine Chick, and Firebird. Dude, I was totally fucked from day 1. Just saying.

What was I talking about? Oh right, Marine Chick's birthday. I don' have pics cause they're on my dad's super cool camera. I'm so stealing that for Nightwish. Hanging out with my sis and her familia was pretty cool. It's nice that i'll be able to see her more often now that they're closer. She said she's going to try and bring Pingo (means Penguin and Danish and since I love Penguins and I love him, it really fits. He is cute like penguins. I love penguins. Did I mention my mutti bought me a penguin pez despenser? ITS SO COOL!) to school so I can show him off. He's not as blonde as he used to be, but dammit, he's still freaking adorable.

I need to write my speech for wednesday and I need to make my presentation for next wednesday. I am so excited for San Fran! WOO HOO! It's going to be great. I never did find a scarf to wear as a hijab, but I suppose that's all well. Who the hell knows what kind of shit I would have gotten for wearing a hijab. Whatevs, I'll do what I want.

I changed the top picture. I'll probably change it every few weeks. I get bored easily and I love making graphics. It's been a while since I've really done something serious in photoshop (as in like years) so you'll have to give me some time to get back in the groove.

Uhh...with all of these pregnancies, ya know, like Dooce and Curly and Secret Republican and that Kid in my history class and Ryan and Cole, I'm getting all broody. I want many kids one day. Ya know, when I can afford it. I look forward to the good and bad. Although, it's a little bit nervewracking to think you have to raise a child to live in a world that you can't say anything negative about religion or ya know, live your life without government reaching in and saying "NO BITCH!" (i don't even know what that means) but I look forward to teaching my children all of the wisdom I have learned from my parents over the years, such as "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" and "MY HOUSE MY RULES!". I also look forward to raising my children in the White House for eight years, hehe. I also look forward to weighing more than 100 pounds.

Yeah...I can't wait for that. Ya know...like 3 years or so down the road. When I actually have a significant other. When I'm married. When I have money. When I have a car.

FORMAL IS NEXT FRIDAY! OMG WTF WHERE DID IT COME FROM?!? I bought shoes this past weekend. I can't get the fucking sticker off the bottom of the goddamn shoe. WHO DOES THAT? SERIOUSLY? I'm sorry...I'm pmsing bad right now. I've got a zillion things in my brain and they're all screaming "YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL!" except one which is in the back screaming "I'M HUNGRY AND THIRSTY AND TIRED." Yeah...college sucks big time.

None of this makes any sense.

I bought John Rich's solo album over the weekend (my mom actually let me drive the car by myself. We had just gotten back from jungle jims and she started dinner and I needed to go to the comic book store to buy Runner Boy his Firestorm toy and so my mom let me take the car and after the comic book store I decided I would take a road trip down the road to target which ended in a stop at Best Buy which I'm so glad I did cause I got Nightwish's MCD 'Made In Hong Kong' which is soooo great) and its awesome! I Looooooooooooooooooooove Shuttin' Detroit Down. Beautiful. Sad that it had to be made, but such a great song. The video's got my beloved Mickey Rourke in it. I love Mickey Rourke.

Despite the fact I didn't really do all that much this past weekend, I am dead tired and just...IDK...done. I have so much to do and just no time to do it. This tea party is taking up so much time, i'll be soooooooo fucking ecstatic when its over. Then I can do other things, like school work. I'll write my speech for wed first, then start my presentation and prolly finish it thursday. Fri i'm off to san fran and then we're back tuesday night. Do my speech wed and then start and finish my history paper, as well as re-write my paper for human rights. Throw in a science test and that freaking paper/presentation for advanced research methods and that's basically the rest of my semester, not counting finals. I also need to turn in summer housing shit. CRAP. Room draw is tomorrow and we still need one more person. I hate life.

Fuck me running, I'm going to bed bitches. I think this is the most I've ever cussed in my blog.

p.s. 22 Days Until I See Nightwish!!!!

Been Waiting For This For A Few Months, Now That It's Here, What Do I Do?

2009-04-10T22:34:00.004-04:00

So, my brother, Major Pain in the Ass, called tody. His wife, Curly, is in Florida with my niece Mini Kid That Looks Like Her Dad (I was going to call her Mini Major Pain In The Ass, but it would have been rude) because Curly's grandpa died. :( Poor Curly just lost her dad not but a few weeks ago. It's not been easy for her, but they have good news. MPITA let mutti know that he and Curly are pregnant again! YEAH BITCH! I'm so excited to be an Aunty again. With every kid, I spoil them more. Hehe...with love, cause ya'll know I'm horribly paid.

Curly and MPITA around Christmas 2008

Uhh...speaking of horribly paid. I got my paycheck (which was 2 paychecks cause they totally dicked out on my last one) and I only got like 140! DUDE WTF? I so got the shaft this sem. Ugh, I need to find a super good job for the summer so I can start saving up major cash. I'm totally eyeing these nice apartments over near some awesome stores that I'd love to get jobs at while I save up to run for office.

Anyways, so yeah, Curley and MPITA will have a new one probably late this year, early next year. They don't know the due date yet cause she just took the pregnancy test. I probably shouldn't even be talking about this, but let's face it, who else besides Marine Chick reads my blog? Mutti would love to, but ya know, a girl's gotta have secret's from her momma. Besides, its fun to tell mutti I'm going to blog about her and then she can't read it. Ha, I'm evil.

I went to Tractor Factory or w/e its called with Mutti and Dad today and they had little baby cornish rock hens for sale!!! OMG! They were so cute. I took a few pics on my phone and now one of them is my background on my phone. Heh, afte we got home I realized I had my camera in my purse so I could have taken pics and uploaded them. My bad. I totally forgot. But they were so cute but Mutti and Dad wouldn't let me get one :( not fair. And they wouldn't buy me a plushed horse. Ugh...can we say child abuse? I love stuffed animals. At school, I have like 5 penguins and a bear and a hedgehog on my desk (and now I can add a small, penguin statue thingy). I love penguins. They're so cute!!

Mutti and I are going major shopping tomorrow. I need to find my shoes for formal and I need a bunch of food for wednesday, plus tea, ya know. On Sunday, Mutti, Dad, Firebird and I are going to meet Marine Chick and her family (I'm for sure Birthday Stealer and Pingo are going to be there, IDK if The Marine and his son BC will be.) It's Marine Chick's birthday (she'll be 25 for the 7th time) and ya know, its easter. Of course her birthday would be on easter *rolls eyes*, now it would be totally inappropriate to get her an inappropriate gift. Thanks God. Hehe, j/k. I couldn't get her a present this year cuz my school sucks and paid someone else instead of me! Maybe I'll be able to find her something tomorrow. IDK, what do you get for a mutti of three?

I've been e-mailing this grad student in texas and he's basically like the coolest guy ever. All he needs is to get into hockey and then he'll be as close to perfect as one can be. He's good at math which means he'll be able to help me when I take my math classes next year. Uh, can we say Godsend? No joke though, he's so cool to talk to.

Hmm...I'm totally addicted to Mahjong. I play it all the time and now its pissing me off cause I haven't won a game in like a day! AHHHH not cool. It's fun though cause you have to make sure you pick the right tile to play cause you don't want to find out you need it in a different spot but the other one is hidden. IDK if that makes sense, but if you play mahjong, you should understand.

So, ya know, Happy Easter to all.

p.s. 26 days until I see NIGHTWISH!!!

p.p.s. 25 days until the semester is over!!!

A Nightingale in a golden cage, that's me, locked inside reality's maze

2009-04-09T22:58:00.005-04:00

So, check this out. My mutti came to get me today. We were driving back and were like, IDK, 20 mins from dayton or so and mutti, driving at like 5 over the limit, comes upon a cop car. She slows down and we pass and I turn and watch as the Cop turns onto the highway. I start laughing cause I totally think we're going to get pulled over. I start wondering if I can use my sex appeal to get us out of a ticket. Luckily (for both me and the cop cause you know no one wants me to try to attempt sex appeal) the cop never turns his light on. So I laugh at my mutti and start telling her about how the three times the car I've been in has been pulled over, I've been asleep. So basically, you don't want me sleeping in your car cause there's a 33% or some shit chance that you're gonna get pulled over. So, we're talking and the cop car passes us and the dude looks right in our car. I laugh and smile and basically laugh for like 5 mins straight and harrass mutti about almost getting pulled over. Two miles down the road, we see the same cop car on the side of the road, waiting for his next victim.

Basically, my day was made golden by this 2 second event. hehe. I told mutti I would blog about this and she told me not to. Obviously, I have issues with listening to my mutti.

I'm 20, almost 21, I'll do what I want.

So I'm home now. Going to try to enjoy a four day weekend before heading back to ~~hell~~ school. Next wednesday is the tea party and I'm so nervous. Eek...what am I going to do?

The Red Wings played tonight...yeah T, they failed miserably despite scoring first. I hate the Red Wings defense cause they don't know defense. Ugh, the playoffs start next week and if the wings keep playing like this, we're gonna get kicked out in the first round. Come on boys, let's pretend most of you won the stanley cup last year and know what you're doing.

I can't wait to go to San Fran next week! It's going to be the best weekend ever until my 21st. I'm trying to get my sister to come up to school for the weekend on my 21st to get drunk with me and my friends. Hehe, we'll see if that happens. If not, I'll go see her the next weekend and get drunk with her in TH. I'm gonna be drunk the entire weekend of my 21st. My classes end thursday at like 12, so I can spend the entire afternoon eating to prepare to go out at midnight with Ugie since I think she'll be one of the few on campus over 21. On friday and saturday, we'll drink in the room so that my under 21 friends, like Reiko, can drink too. Trust me, seeing Reiko drunk will complete my weekend. She's the most hilarious drunk ever and cheap too, she gets drunk off like 1 beer. Total lightweight.

I am going shopping tomorrow to get food and shit for next week and I need to find blue shoes for formal. I can't wait for formal! It's gonna be a blast!! WOOT Bitch!

p.s. 26 days until I see NIGHTWISH!!!

Rainydays and Monday's Always Get Me Down

2009-04-06T12:38:00.004-04:00

I didn't want to wake up this morning. I wanted to keep sleeping. However, I need the $7.25 I get for work, so I got up for work. I went to science and why didn't anyone ever tell me I've been spelling Environmental wrong? dudes...for serious. I always forget the n before the m. After science I went to history. Funny story. There's this kid in class who apparently is going to have a baby with his girlfriend, so then we start talking about kids and blah blah blah and our prof mentions something about how our class is very procreative (idk if that's even the freaking word). and then...dun dun dun...my lovely Secret Republican says something and then someone else goes "Wait, Secret Republican, you're pregnant?" and boom. Everyone starts whispering and I'm rolling my eyes going, DUH! She's like 5 or 6 months now, I think its 5. She's due in August and she's having a boy! I'm so excited!!! So Douchebag leans up to me and goes "Did SR just say she's pregnant?" And I was like "Yes, she is. She's due in August and having a boy" blah blah blah. Basically, people freaked the fuck out. I was like dudes, its not that serious. I mean, yeah its serious cuz SR's giving birth to a future Republican (and before you say anything there are studies that show that children of republicans are more likely to remain republicans than children of democrats are likely to remain democrats), but its not serious where they need to freak out. We're 20, 21, 22 years old. Let's act like it.

And now I'm here, contemplating not going to Human Rights cuz its snowing outside. SNOWING IN APRIL! It's not michigan assholes, its Ohio. For serious.

I'm really freaking out about this tea party. I don't know what to do anymore. And then the freaking jackasses in residence life are starting their freaking roomdraw shit at 7 pm which is when the tea party is supposed to end. I'm like oh great, intrude on my territory bitches. Fuck off. First come first serve. I freaking hate the douchebag that runs residence life. He is so rude, no joke. If you have any sort of complaint about anything, he tells you to deal with it. I'm like Ok, I deal with it at another school jackass. And I'll be sure to let the President of the school know that I'm leaving because you're a major supreme douchebag who obviously doesn't care about his students. Fuck off.

most of the time, I can understand that certain things can't be changed, but this guy is just consistently rude to everyone except his wonderful little frat boys. He attended this school and was apart of one of the frat groups and seems to only treat them with respect, everyone else gets the shaft. Screw you asshole. I don't pay 28,000 a year for you to tell me to "deal with it". I except some sort of courtesy. I except you to be nice.

He's seriously like one of the few people that work on campus that I don't like. Him and those witches in the media center. They talk down to everyone that comes in there and treats you like you're 5 and don't understand how lamination works. I know there are air bubbles douchbag, I'm 20 years old and I've seen/done lamination before. We're in college, ACT LIKE IT!

I seriously don't understand why everyone on this campus acts like we're still in high school. For serious! We're adults, let's act like it. Stop the stupid high school drama and stop talking down to people. Some of us have brains and use them.

SCREW YOU!

p.s. 30 Days Until I See NIGHTWISH!!!!!!
p.s.s. 15 days until the semester ends!!!!!

I Hate Planning Things

2009-04-05T14:12:00.002-04:00

I so give up on this tea party.

I don't want to be a failure so I'm definitely just walking away.

Now.

UHHHHHH

I'm in this neverending debate with this wacked out brit who refutes everything I say and gets pissed whenever I try to explain my side. I notice that he only picks at things he thinks he can win (like when he said my family are murduring unjustily when I said we may be going hunting and then i said how is it unjust murder if we're going to eat the food we kill? hmm...no response). I just hate having arguments with those type of people. I can admit when I'm wrong and I have no problem with calling out republicans that have ridiculous views. I'm an equal opportunity basher. It just happens that I identify with conservatives more than I do with liberals. I fail to see how that makes me a bad person. I also fail to see how since my family owns guns, we're scared, lazy people who have itchy trigger fingers and can't wait to kill. I, personally, never want to have to kill someone. But if someone gets in my home and threatens my family, I will protect them.

So basically, fuck you, to that guy.

Last night, Ice, one of my roommates, and I got back from out Bud movie night and I walk into the bathroom and scream cuz there was this bug on the our rug. hehe...bug on the rug. it was one of those centipede thingys with a million legs. Uhhh...creepy as all get out. Ice and I tried to get it into this cup, but then it crawled out of the cup and we both scream, I run out of the bathroom, she drops the cup and manages to trap the bug under the cup and tells me to go pee. It took a while cuz I'm so not into the pee while a bug is staring at me, cuz I guarantee the shit was staring at me. After I finish peeing, Ice comes back and tries to the throw the bug and the cup in the toilet, to flush it and manages to get the cup in the toilet, but the bug goes behind the toilet. So she grabs some bleach cleaner shit and sprays the bug and it tries to crawl away, but eventually dies. So she picks up the bug with toliet paper and throws in the toliet and flushes the toliet...with her foot. hehe.

MY PHONE WONT CHARGE. wtf sprint? WTF? uhh...hehe. nevermind. I just figured it out. I'm not telling you why!

My wings are playing right now. They're playing Minnesota Wild, bastards. It's tied 2-2. We were winning. Not anymore. COME ON BITCHES! Uhh...can I say, I really don't like the Wild. But, to be honest, my #1 team that I can't stand is Columbus Blue Jackets. Those guys are really disrespectful. I hate it when people are disrespectful.

I am continuing to ignore my enviro science homework. I think now may be the right time to start it.

p.s. 31 days until I see Nightwish!!!

p.p.s. Andria's post about women breastfeeding their husbands is grossing me out. Read it if you dare!

Moving In

2009-04-04T14:39:00.006-04:00

Well, here I am. Blogspot. Better than livejournal? yes, I guess so. We'll see how it works for me.

So, what does Within Demise mean? Well, basically, it means that I am close to my demise, as we all are. We are always close to death or falling/failing. With my college graduation growing nearer and nearer (1 year and a month) its possible I may fall to my demise upon graduation.

I'm a pessamist, in case you didn't know.

Instead of working on my pile of enviro science homework, I made this new blog. What can I say, I procrastinate easily. I need to shower and then I'll start working on my hw. At least, until I go see JW and Piano Man's recitals and then there's Bud movie night afterwards. Woot, excited, I guess. IDK, I may have trouble with those girls, but they're my girls and I do love them. Despite all the shit that's gone down, I'd jump in front of a bullet for all of the girls except Ms. I'll Flirt With Your Man. I really do not like her. But i doubt she'll be there tonight, so no problem!

I've started cleaning things up in my room. I go home on Thursday for Easter break, so I'm going to try and take the majority of this crap home. I won't need most of it for the last few weeks, so I'm just going to go ahead and take a lot home so when the semester's over, we won't have as much in the car. It'll make things easier for my mom and I.

I'm really excited, but really nervous about the coming weeks. The tea party is the wednesday after we get back from break and I still don't know what all to plan for it. The friday after the tea party, I'm leaving with my class for the Model UN conference in San Francisco. The week after we get back from San Fran, the sem ends and finals start. I have a fucking final every single day, which is how it always ends up for me. And they're making us take finals on a saturday! What kind of crap is that? Luckily, my final that day (if I even have one for that class, I'm still not sure) is at 6 pm, so I can still sleep in that morning.

I just have to suffer through four more days and I get to go home and sorta relax. I've got to make sure we get everything for the tea party and that I get my presentation for human rights done. Too much left to do. I also have to start working on my history paper, which is due april 29th, I think. I also have to re-write my human rights paper and somehow, I've got to work on my advanced research paper with my partner who never talks to me. I hate school.

I've also got to find that freaking letter for the school so they can write a letter to the military so I can get my ID next week. I can't wait till I get paid next friday. I get two paychecks in one (or at least I better otherwise the school is going to find out just how much of a bitch I can be), so i'll get plenty of money for san fran.

I hate this school.

and btw, the pictures at the top of the page are of Sharon den Adel, the lead singer of Within Temptation and the lyrics are from their song 'Pale' which is on their CD The Silent Force.

p.s. 32 days until I see Nightwish!!!